If you missed it somehow (thus making Katy Perry cry unicorn tears) the Superbowl was a few weeks ago.
(Yes, I have been away for a while. No, there was no particular reason for it. Except in that way that you let things go for a day or so and then it gets easier and easier to just not think about it and continue being lazy and not going to the gym (for example). Then one day you realize it's been over a month and you reflect on it in a vague 'well, I guess life is all about change, might as well not worry about it and have another mimosa while watching the Agent Carter finale*' Which brings me back around to my original point. The 'time being measured by change' part, not the mimosa part. Although alcohol does feature in the story...)
*Seriously, was Agent Carter not just the best new show you've seen in years? It's particularly galling to think that the reason the network was hesitant to commit to a full run of it probably has more than a little to do with the misguided belief that comic book fans won't watch a project starring a woman**
**You know - the same reason we still haven't gotten a Black Widow solo film.
Where was I... oh yes. Superbowl.
As is widely noted (to the extent that it's almost become irritating when anyone mentions it), most people these days watch the Superbowl just to see the commercials.
It's not hard to see why this is the case. A cause and effect cycle of 'more people watching = higher cost for commercial time = the necessity of making better commercials to make sure yours stand out and thus justify the expense = more people watching to see the better commercials = higher cost for commercial time, etc., etc., To quote Anya Emmanuella Jenkins, It's like evolution, but without the getting better part.
One of the more popular commercials of the last few years was a beer commercial* that featured an adorable puppy repeatedly running away to get back to his (or her) horse friend. Or, as we discussed it here - the black hearted homewrecking puppy who went out of his (or her) way to destroy the lives of everyone around him (or possibly her) for no good reason.
* Commercials during the Superbowl fall into roughly four categories; Truck, Beer, Doritos, and Other.
Well, this year the dark-hearted little bastard got a sequel. Which you can watch here.
Now, the first thing to notice is that there's been a slight downgrade in the music from the earlier commercial. (that one used Passenger, this one a mournful, weepy version of That One Song The Proclaimers Did)
The next thing to notice - there is no sign of the woman. Where did the woman go? Did she go back to her less attractive husband, leaving the dog? Is she tied up in the basement?
Personally, my theory is closely tied to realization #3 - The Puppy Has NOT AGED
Seriously. Years later - still a puppy. Sure, you could say that it's shortly after the first commercial, but that was clearly in the Autumn, and we're in Spring here - so some time has passed.
I think it's clear where all this is pointing.
The Puppy obviously killed the woman and - like so many in vampire lore before him (or her) - resorted to the drinking of human blood in exchange for the promise of eternal youth.
Why, just looking at this commercial alone you can see how lucky an escape it was for the Farmer that his horses stopped the Puppy from bring his Army of Wolves to the farm to murder them all.
TOMORROW - We address the issue currently tearing our communities apart. Christians Against Dinosaurs
The 42nd Vizsla - Because there were already 41 Vizslas registered here.
Showing posts with label Evil puppy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Evil puppy. Show all posts
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Vizsla Flashback - Adorable Puppy? or BlackHearted Homewrecker?
So like many of you, I spent a good chunk of yesterday evening being not particularly interested in the Superbowl.
-Note for foreign readers - It's basically the world cup with shoulder pads and not inviting any other countries.
Not only did I not give half a crap about either team to begin with, but one of them proceeded to not even bother to show up and play, instead loaning their uniforms to a local girl scout troupe for the evening.
-Note for all readers - NOT a slam on the Girl Scouts. The Girl Scouts are awesome. In terms of both inclusiveness and shortbread cookies.
So, like 98% of people who watch the Superbowl in any case, I was pretty much just there for the commercials. If nothing else it's interesting to see what some marketing department feels is a good usage of 3.8-4 million dollars.*
*Other than, you know, feeding Africa for a good fair while. Or the US for that matter.
Toward the end of the proceedings there was a beer commercial for a brand that I will not name because they are not paying me and it's about standards. You can find the commercial here.
If you've brushed right by the link, I'll sum up. There's a farm selling puppies. A puppy is shown being adopted by a nice lady, then we see the puppy repeatedly sneaking back onto the farm to be with his horse friend. Montage of Farmer returning puppy to The Woman/puppy sneaking back. Finally The Woman's car is stopped by the rest of the horses who have apparently manned up and decided that they were sick and tired of the whole process. Cue final shot of Woman and Farmer watching the puppy and horse prance delightedly. (well... the puppy prances. The horse just sort of stands there.)
The thing to immediately notice about the ad is that it uses a song by the band Passenger, and Passenger is freaking Awesome, so they get some good will points there.
The second thing to notice is that the puppy is clearly trying to end the Woman's marriage.
Go back and look. At 31 seconds we see the Woman picking the puppy up from the farmer yet again. And clear as day we see with her a man in sunglasses, texting indifferently, who is clearly wearing a wedding ring. Yes he is. Go look.
At 42 seconds the same man is driving the car which is stopped by threatening horses. Woman and puppy in car with him.
At 56 seconds we see the Woman and the Farmer watching the puppy/horse action (easy, Shriner!) under a romantic sunset. You notice who isn't there? Her FREAKIN' HUSBAND!
Clearly this blackhearted (yet admittedly adorable) puppy has just torpedoed what was, for all we know, a perfectly happy marriage. All for his own selfish reasons.
Who can say why the puppy took such cruel and calculating steps to destroy this man's life. Perhaps the Man was mean to him. Maybe it was simply all about getting back to his horse friend and damn anyone else who got hurt in the process. Could be he just thought the Farmer was better looking than the other guy (and fair enough- he is) and thought the Woman deserved to trade up. Maybe he's just an evil puppy who gets his kicks out of watching the suffering of others (although that's usually more of a 'cat' thing.)
We'll never know what exactly drove the puppy to ruin a man's life. But I look forward to the followup commercial in which we see The Man, sitting at some dive bar drinking the same beer ranting 'Goddamn dog! I had it all! The House! The Wife! Jesus Christ, we were so happy... soo happy... Why'd I have to suggest a dog... Why? Why????'
Anybody have a spare 3.8 million I can borrow?
-Note for foreign readers - It's basically the world cup with shoulder pads and not inviting any other countries.
Not only did I not give half a crap about either team to begin with, but one of them proceeded to not even bother to show up and play, instead loaning their uniforms to a local girl scout troupe for the evening.
-Note for all readers - NOT a slam on the Girl Scouts. The Girl Scouts are awesome. In terms of both inclusiveness and shortbread cookies.
So, like 98% of people who watch the Superbowl in any case, I was pretty much just there for the commercials. If nothing else it's interesting to see what some marketing department feels is a good usage of 3.8-4 million dollars.*
*Other than, you know, feeding Africa for a good fair while. Or the US for that matter.
Toward the end of the proceedings there was a beer commercial for a brand that I will not name because they are not paying me and it's about standards. You can find the commercial here.
If you've brushed right by the link, I'll sum up. There's a farm selling puppies. A puppy is shown being adopted by a nice lady, then we see the puppy repeatedly sneaking back onto the farm to be with his horse friend. Montage of Farmer returning puppy to The Woman/puppy sneaking back. Finally The Woman's car is stopped by the rest of the horses who have apparently manned up and decided that they were sick and tired of the whole process. Cue final shot of Woman and Farmer watching the puppy and horse prance delightedly. (well... the puppy prances. The horse just sort of stands there.)
The thing to immediately notice about the ad is that it uses a song by the band Passenger, and Passenger is freaking Awesome, so they get some good will points there.
The second thing to notice is that the puppy is clearly trying to end the Woman's marriage.
Go back and look. At 31 seconds we see the Woman picking the puppy up from the farmer yet again. And clear as day we see with her a man in sunglasses, texting indifferently, who is clearly wearing a wedding ring. Yes he is. Go look.
At 42 seconds the same man is driving the car which is stopped by threatening horses. Woman and puppy in car with him.
At 56 seconds we see the Woman and the Farmer watching the puppy/horse action (easy, Shriner!) under a romantic sunset. You notice who isn't there? Her FREAKIN' HUSBAND!
Clearly this blackhearted (yet admittedly adorable) puppy has just torpedoed what was, for all we know, a perfectly happy marriage. All for his own selfish reasons.
Who can say why the puppy took such cruel and calculating steps to destroy this man's life. Perhaps the Man was mean to him. Maybe it was simply all about getting back to his horse friend and damn anyone else who got hurt in the process. Could be he just thought the Farmer was better looking than the other guy (and fair enough- he is) and thought the Woman deserved to trade up. Maybe he's just an evil puppy who gets his kicks out of watching the suffering of others (although that's usually more of a 'cat' thing.)
We'll never know what exactly drove the puppy to ruin a man's life. But I look forward to the followup commercial in which we see The Man, sitting at some dive bar drinking the same beer ranting 'Goddamn dog! I had it all! The House! The Wife! Jesus Christ, we were so happy... soo happy... Why'd I have to suggest a dog... Why? Why????'
Anybody have a spare 3.8 million I can borrow?
Monday, February 3, 2014
Adorable puppy, or blackhearted homewrecker...?
So like many of you, I spent a good chunk of yesterday evening being not particularly interested in the Superbowl.
-Note for foreign readers - It's basically the world cup with shoulder pads and not inviting any other countries.
Not only did I not give half a crap about either team to begin with, but one of them proceeded to not even bother to show up and play, instead loaning their uniforms to a local girl scout troupe for the evening.
-Note for all readers - NOT a slam on the Girl Scouts. The Girl Scouts are awesome. In terms of both inclusiveness and shortbread cookies.
So, like 98% of people who watch the Superbowl in any case, I was pretty much just there for the commercials. If nothing else it's interesting to see what some marketing department feels is a good usage of 3.8-4 million dollars.*
Other than, you know, feeding Africa for a good fair while. Or the US for that matter.
Toward the end of the proceedings there was a beer commercial for a brand that I will not name because they are not paying me and it's about standards. You can find the commercial here.
If you've brushed right by the link, I'll sum up. There's a farm selling puppies. A puppy is shown being adopted by a nice lady, then we see the puppy repeatedly sneaking back onto the farm to be with his horse friend. Montage of Farmer returning puppy to The Woman/puppy sneaking back. Finally The Woman's car is stopped by the rest of the horses who have apparently manned up and decided that they were sick and tired of the whole process. Cue final shot of Woman and Farmer watching the puppy and horse prance delightedly. (well... the puppy prances. The horse just sort of stands there.)
The thing to immediately notice about the ad is that it uses a song by the band Passenger, and Passenger is freaking Awesome, so they get some good will points there.
The second thing to notice is that the puppy is clearly trying to end the Woman's marriage.
Go back and look. At 31 seconds we see the Woman picking the puppy up from the farmer yet again. And clear as day we see with her a man in sunglasses, texting indifferently, who is clearly wearing a wedding ring. Yes he is. Go look.
At 42 seconds the same man is driving the car which is stopped by threatening horses. Woman and puppy in car with him.
At 56 seconds we see the Woman and the Farmer watching the puppy/horse action (easy, Shriner!) under a romantic sunset. You notice who isn't there? Her FREAKIN' HUSBAND!
Clearly this blackhearted (yet admittedly adorable) puppy has just torpedoed what was, for all we know, a perfectly happy marriage. All for his own selfish reasons.
Who can say why the puppy took such cruel and calculating steps to destroy this man's life. Perhaps the Man was mean to him. Maybe it was simply all about getting back to his horse friend and damn anyone else who got hurt in the process. Could be he just thought the Farmer was better looking than the other guy (and fair enough- he is) and thought the Woman deserved to trade up. Maybe he's just an evil puppy who gets his kicks out of watching the suffering of others (although that's usually more of a 'cat' thing.)
We'll never know what exactly drove the puppy to ruin a man's life. But I look forward to the followup commercial in which we see The Man, sitting at some dive bar drinking the same beer ranting 'Goddamn dog! I had it all! The House! The Wife! Jesus Christ, we were so happy... soo happy... Why'd I have to suggest a dog... Why? Why????'
Anybody have a spare 3.8 million I can borrow?
-Note for foreign readers - It's basically the world cup with shoulder pads and not inviting any other countries.
Not only did I not give half a crap about either team to begin with, but one of them proceeded to not even bother to show up and play, instead loaning their uniforms to a local girl scout troupe for the evening.
-Note for all readers - NOT a slam on the Girl Scouts. The Girl Scouts are awesome. In terms of both inclusiveness and shortbread cookies.
So, like 98% of people who watch the Superbowl in any case, I was pretty much just there for the commercials. If nothing else it's interesting to see what some marketing department feels is a good usage of 3.8-4 million dollars.*
Other than, you know, feeding Africa for a good fair while. Or the US for that matter.
Toward the end of the proceedings there was a beer commercial for a brand that I will not name because they are not paying me and it's about standards. You can find the commercial here.
If you've brushed right by the link, I'll sum up. There's a farm selling puppies. A puppy is shown being adopted by a nice lady, then we see the puppy repeatedly sneaking back onto the farm to be with his horse friend. Montage of Farmer returning puppy to The Woman/puppy sneaking back. Finally The Woman's car is stopped by the rest of the horses who have apparently manned up and decided that they were sick and tired of the whole process. Cue final shot of Woman and Farmer watching the puppy and horse prance delightedly. (well... the puppy prances. The horse just sort of stands there.)
The thing to immediately notice about the ad is that it uses a song by the band Passenger, and Passenger is freaking Awesome, so they get some good will points there.
The second thing to notice is that the puppy is clearly trying to end the Woman's marriage.
Go back and look. At 31 seconds we see the Woman picking the puppy up from the farmer yet again. And clear as day we see with her a man in sunglasses, texting indifferently, who is clearly wearing a wedding ring. Yes he is. Go look.
At 42 seconds the same man is driving the car which is stopped by threatening horses. Woman and puppy in car with him.
At 56 seconds we see the Woman and the Farmer watching the puppy/horse action (easy, Shriner!) under a romantic sunset. You notice who isn't there? Her FREAKIN' HUSBAND!
Clearly this blackhearted (yet admittedly adorable) puppy has just torpedoed what was, for all we know, a perfectly happy marriage. All for his own selfish reasons.
Who can say why the puppy took such cruel and calculating steps to destroy this man's life. Perhaps the Man was mean to him. Maybe it was simply all about getting back to his horse friend and damn anyone else who got hurt in the process. Could be he just thought the Farmer was better looking than the other guy (and fair enough- he is) and thought the Woman deserved to trade up. Maybe he's just an evil puppy who gets his kicks out of watching the suffering of others (although that's usually more of a 'cat' thing.)
We'll never know what exactly drove the puppy to ruin a man's life. But I look forward to the followup commercial in which we see The Man, sitting at some dive bar drinking the same beer ranting 'Goddamn dog! I had it all! The House! The Wife! Jesus Christ, we were so happy... soo happy... Why'd I have to suggest a dog... Why? Why????'
Anybody have a spare 3.8 million I can borrow?
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