Sunday, August 24, 2014

Vizsla Flashback - Adorable Puppy? or BlackHearted Homewrecker?

So like many of you, I spent a good chunk of yesterday evening being not particularly interested in the Superbowl.

-Note for foreign readers - It's basically the world cup with shoulder pads and not inviting any other countries.

Not only did I not give half a crap about either team to begin with, but one of them proceeded to not even bother to show up and play, instead loaning their uniforms to a local girl scout troupe for the evening.

-Note for all readers - NOT a slam on the Girl Scouts.  The Girl Scouts are awesome.  In terms of both inclusiveness and shortbread cookies.

So, like 98% of people who watch the Superbowl in any case, I was pretty much just there for the commercials.  If nothing else it's interesting to see what some marketing department feels is a good usage of 3.8-4 million dollars.*

*Other than, you know, feeding Africa for a good fair while.  Or the US for that matter. 

Toward the end of the proceedings there was a beer commercial for a brand that I will not name because they are not paying me and it's about standards.  You can find the commercial here.

If you've brushed right by the link, I'll sum up.  There's a farm selling puppies.  A puppy is shown being adopted by a nice lady, then we see the puppy repeatedly sneaking back onto the farm to be with his horse friend.  Montage of Farmer returning puppy to The Woman/puppy sneaking back.  Finally The Woman's car is stopped by the rest of the horses who have apparently manned up and decided that  they were sick and tired of the whole process.  Cue final shot of Woman and Farmer watching the puppy and horse prance delightedly.  (well... the puppy prances.  The horse just sort of stands there.)

The thing to immediately notice about the ad is that it uses a song by the band Passenger, and Passenger is freaking Awesome, so they get some good will points there.

The second thing to notice is that the puppy is clearly trying to end the Woman's marriage.

Go back and look.  At 31 seconds we see the Woman picking the puppy up from the farmer yet again.  And clear as day we see with her a man in sunglasses, texting indifferently, who is clearly wearing a wedding ring.  Yes he is.  Go look.

At 42 seconds the same man is driving the car which is stopped by threatening horses.  Woman and puppy in car with him.

At 56 seconds we see the Woman and the Farmer watching the puppy/horse action (easy, Shriner!) under a romantic sunset.  You notice who isn't there?  Her FREAKIN' HUSBAND!

Clearly this blackhearted (yet admittedly adorable) puppy has just torpedoed what was, for all we know, a perfectly happy marriage.  All for his own selfish reasons.

Who can say why the puppy took such cruel and calculating steps to destroy this man's life.  Perhaps the Man was mean to him.  Maybe it was simply all about getting back to his horse friend and damn anyone else who got hurt in the process.  Could be he just thought the Farmer was better looking than the other guy (and fair enough- he is) and thought the Woman deserved to trade up.  Maybe he's just an evil puppy who gets his kicks out of watching the suffering of others (although that's usually more of a 'cat' thing.)

We'll never know what exactly drove the puppy to ruin a man's life.  But I look forward to the followup commercial in which we see The Man, sitting at some dive bar drinking the same beer ranting 'Goddamn dog!  I had it all! The House!  The Wife!  Jesus Christ, we were so happy... soo happy...  Why'd I have to suggest a dog... Why?  Why????'

Anybody have a spare 3.8 million I can borrow?

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