So like many of you, I spent a good chunk of yesterday evening being not particularly interested in the Superbowl.
-Note for foreign readers - It's basically the world cup with shoulder pads and not inviting any other countries.
only did I not give half a crap about either team to begin with, but
one of them proceeded to not even bother to show up and play, instead
loaning their uniforms to a local girl scout troupe for the evening.
for all readers - NOT a slam on the Girl Scouts. The Girl Scouts are
awesome. In terms of both inclusiveness and shortbread cookies.
like 98% of people who watch the Superbowl in any case, I was pretty
much just there for the commercials. If nothing else it's interesting
to see what some marketing department feels is a good usage of 3.8-4
*Other than, you know, feeding Africa for a good fair while. Or the US for that matter.
the end of the proceedings there was a beer commercial for a brand that
I will not name because they are not paying me and it's about
standards. You can find the commercial here.
you've brushed right by the link, I'll sum up. There's a farm selling
puppies. A puppy is shown being adopted by a nice lady, then we see the
puppy repeatedly sneaking back onto the farm to be with his horse
friend. Montage of Farmer returning puppy to The Woman/puppy sneaking
back. Finally The Woman's car is stopped by the rest of the horses who
have apparently manned up and decided that they were sick and tired of
the whole process. Cue final shot of Woman and Farmer watching the
puppy and horse prance delightedly. (well... the puppy prances. The
horse just sort of stands there.)
to immediately notice about the ad is that it uses a song by the band
Passenger, and Passenger is freaking Awesome, so they get some good will
The second thing to notice is that the puppy is clearly trying to end the Woman's marriage.
back and look. At 31 seconds we see the Woman picking the puppy up
from the farmer yet again. And clear as day we see with her a man in
sunglasses, texting indifferently, who is clearly wearing a wedding ring. Yes he is. Go look.
At 42 seconds the same man is driving the car which is stopped by threatening horses. Woman and puppy in car with him.
56 seconds we see the Woman and the Farmer watching the puppy/horse
action (easy, Shriner!) under a romantic sunset. You notice who isn't
there? Her FREAKIN' HUSBAND!
Clearly this blackhearted
(yet admittedly adorable) puppy has just torpedoed what was, for all we
know, a perfectly happy marriage. All for his own selfish reasons.
Who can say why the puppy took such cruel and calculating steps to destroy this man's life. Perhaps the Man was mean to him. Maybe it was
simply all about getting back to his horse friend and damn anyone else
who got hurt in the process. Could be he just thought the Farmer was
better looking than the other guy (and fair enough- he is) and thought
the Woman deserved to trade up. Maybe he's just an evil puppy who gets
his kicks out of watching the suffering of others (although that's
usually more of a 'cat' thing.)
We'll never know what
exactly drove the puppy to ruin a man's life. But I look forward to the
followup commercial in which we see The Man, sitting at some dive bar
drinking the same beer ranting 'Goddamn dog! I had it all! The House! The Wife! Jesus Christ, we were so happy... soo happy... Why'd I have to suggest a dog... Why? Why????'
Anybody have a spare 3.8 million I can borrow?