And so, the Vizsla presents - Every girl and boys primer of things Leprechauns do:
(also available as a pie chart, an interpretive dance, and a tea towel)
I need me hobbies!
<Insert cheap shot about the Irish here.>
Just kidding Ireland. You know I love you.
2: Torment Darby O'Gill
For those of you who've never spent Thanksgiving morning nursing a hangover and trying to delay having to go eat with relatives - Darby O'Gill and The Little People is a Sean Connery movie from 1959, notable for the fact that it may be the only Disney movie in which getting someone so hammered that they pass out is a key plot point. Unless I missed something in Mulan.
3: Defend their breakfast cereal from underage home invaders.
Seriously. Lucky has been tolerant enough. After four decades of constant threatened attack and robbery, I would not blame him one bit if he bludgeoned those malicious little underage breakfast enthusiasts with a sheleighleigh. It's sort of an Irish wooden walking stick.
4: Embark on a blood drenched spree of dismemberment, savagery, and mayhem. Also possibly go back 2 da hood.
I need me gold!
5: Launch Jennifer Aniston's career
Suck it, Courtney Cox and Bruce Springsteen!