Thursday, June 27, 2013

That's just terrible advice, Pop Music

I don't know if you pay a lot of attention to the lyrics of popular songs, but I do as I have very little else to do besides nap, scratch myself, and pull apart the occasional chew toy.

And I can't help but notice that while a lot of the songs are catchy and probably fun to dance to if one was capable of such things (I have 4 left paws personally.)  They are also, however, frequently really, really, bad advise.

For Example:

Love the One You're With
Crosby, Stills and Nash

And if you can't be with the one you love, honey 
Love the one you're with  
You gotta love the one you're with 
You gotta love the one you're with  
You gotta love the one you're with

Now... I'm imagining the phone call.  See if you can spot the problem here-

<ring>  <ring>
 "Hello?"
"Hi Hun, it's me, Bob.  Just called to say that traffic is pretty bad out, so I'm just going to have to nail Judy in accounting "
"Oh, that's fi.... I'm sorry, what was that?"
"well, you know I love you baby, but I can't get there right now, so... you know.  Hello...?  Honey...?"

I can guarantee you that nothing good is going to happen to Bob after this conversation.  Particularly if HR finds out about it.

Someone Like You
Adele

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
 
You mean someone else who will dump you when you beg them to stay and then going on to be blissfully happy with someone else?  

Yes, that's exactly who you should be searching for.  Don't be afraid to repeat those mistakes girlfriend, I'm sure it will turn out totally different this time.

Spice Girls
Wannabe

If you wannabe my lover,
you gotta get with my friends

Really?  Because most of the woman I know are pretty emphatic that 'getting with' their friends will have more or less the exact opposite effect.  And probably end up with them removing your genitalia with the garden shears. 

I'm just saying..  you should probably double check with her first before acting on this one.

I Will Wait
Mumford and Sons

I will wait, I will wait for you
I will wait, I will wait for you
(repeat until the apocalypse arrives)
 
 Now, I'm of two minds on this.  It depends on the situation, you see.  If it's an 'I will wait for you... until you return from your tour in Iraq', then yes.  Good advice.  You should embrace that.  In fact, see the above RE: Garden shears if you don't.  

However...

If this is an 'I will wait for you... because I am a guy and you don't like dudes, but I'm just going to hang out and keep my fingers crossed that you'll drink too much at some point..' then that is a bad plan and pretty much guaranteed to not work out well for anyone. 

Just because you can dance to it doesn't make it a valid life choice.  That's all I'm saying.

Vizsla out

No comments:

Post a Comment