Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Summer Vacation plans of the SCOTUS

With the tiresome final batch of decisions typed, collated and handed down, it's time once again for the august members of the Supreme Court of the United States of America to go on their long awaited Summer Holidays.

Which leads the average Vizlsa on the street to wonder - how exactly do the guardians of constitutional justice in these, our United States spend their summer down time?

Well wonder no longer,  here we can now finally reveal -

The official Summer Vacation Plan Docket of the Supreme Court of the United States of America

Chief Justice John Roberts

Must return to the underworld for his annual six month obligatory term as Hades' bride due to contractual obligations negotiated by his mother Demeter, Goddess of Harvest

Clarence Thomas

Chasin' tail and pleasin' the ladies.  Possibly considering getting an addition to the barbwire tattoo around left bicep.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Attempting to decrease number of youth in her neighborhood who choose to wear pants at an unreasonably low beltline through combination of disapproving glances and dissenting calls to neighborhood mothers.  Also enrolled in gymnastic pole dancing class at neighborhood Y.

Antonin Scalia

Resuming the skinning and swallowing whole of live babies.  Possibly getting in some light reading.

Anthony Kennedy

Will attempt once again to successfully throw 'fishbowl' style swingers party.  Will spend lonely evening staring forelornely at the keys to his '93 Dodge Viper, sitting alone in bottom of fishbowl.

Elena Kagan

Drinking until the shaking and spiritual emptiness pass.  So many hopes...  So many dreams...

Sonia Sotomayor

Volunteering time teaching calculus to deaf students from impoverished neighborhoods in attempt to cement moral superiority over Breyer

Stephen Breyer

No one knows.  No one asks.  All anyone will say is that he'll return some time in mid august with haunted eyes, occasionally muttering something about 'them'.

Samuel Alito

For $35, anything you like.  Also macrame

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