Friday, January 25, 2019

It's exactly like Go Ask Alice, but with Diedrich Bader instead of Peyote

So, the most amazing thing happened this morning, I...

I'm sorry... what?

2 and a half years...?

Really...?

Oh. Yeah.  About that...

It's fairly obvious to the casual observer that I'm not a bold user of social media.  This is for the fairly obvious reason.  I'm old and change frightens me.  Also, those kids keep walking across my lawn.

So, in addition to things like, say, forgetting about having a blog since the US had a functioning President*, I'm also not heavy into social media.  I have accounts with Twitter and Instagram, and was signed up on Tumblr until a few weeks ago when they stopped allowing pornogr a free exchange of ideas. But I rarely, if ever, look at or post on any of them.

*Seriously, who would have imagined that we'd be looking back at 2016 with longing regret?  We'd just lost Prince, Bowie, and Alan freaking Rickman** and I still think of Summer 2016 as that last moment before hope died.

** In hindsight, I wonder if the universe wasn't just politely sidling up to sufficiently cool and deserving people at the time, having a quiet word in their ear about upcoming events, and then discretely asking if they'd like to consider settling their check and making an early evening of it.

 So, there I was, pleasantly settled into curmudgeonly ludditolitry - if I might coin a phrase - when for some reason this last week a bizarre and unexpected transformation began taking place.

I started actually looking at my Twitter feed.

It's actually down to the fact that for the last couple of years I've been writing reviews for Douxreviews.com, and they're very on top of their twitter game.  Every time I post a review of something a tweet goes out notifying the world (and me) that said review exists, and provides a helpful link to read same.

So, because I'm drawn irresistibly to things with my name on them, I've gotten into the habit of  looking at other, non-me-related things on Twitter while I'm there.  It's a slippery slope, people. 

So, having gone from a person who has signed up for Twitter and resolutely ignored it, I'd become one of those people that reads things on Twitter.  And actively checks Twitter for said things to read.

At some point Twitter suggested that I follow Diedrich Bader.  I'm not sure exactly why, but I totally recommend it.  He's got a nice line in a kind of charming 'just another guy hanging out in the garage' vibe that leads me to believe that if you were hanging out with him and he suggested stealing a fire engine to drive to Mexico, then you'd totally do it because it sounded like such a reasonable suggestion at the time.*

*If you and Mr. Bader do attempt to steal a fire truck, be aware that they generally start with an ignition switch instead of a key, and you have to engage the battery first.  Also, they can be kind of a pig on gas, so expect to have to fill up again by the time you hit Rochester.**

**If you're starting in Minneapolis or surrounding suburbs.

Diedrich Bader, if the name doesn't immediately ring a bell, is currently playing Greg on the sitcom American Housewife, but if you Google him with your image search on you're pretty much guaranteed to go, 'Oh, him.  He was <that guy> in <that thing I liked>.'  Seriously, dude's been in a lot of cool stuff.

So, this morning he tweeted (see, I'm adopting the vernacular now) about a very amusing dream he had involving Allison Janney and Idris Elba, and something came over me.

I responded to his tweet, which I know is different from retweeting, and I don't think has a separate name for it other than 'responded', but it might and I don't care, because a few minutes later Diedrich Bader freaking 'liked' my tweet and responded (possibly another word) right back to it!.

And I have no idea what's happening to me now, but I swear to freaking God it was like I just unwrapped the Barbie I'd been hoping for all freaking year and I totally want to be a social media icon now!!  I want to tweet clever things now!  I want to please a clamoring pool of followers!!  I want to learn how to check and see if I have any followers!!  What exactly is a Youtube deal, and how do I get one??  Instagram - that's the one for pictures of food, right??  How does Tumblr's financial model not fall apart once they factor in the drop in usage that inevitably goes hand in hand with banning pictures of... you know what, we're not talking about Tumblr right now.

I get it, social media.  I have taken my first hit of interactive messaging, and the rush is heady and sweet, and I want me more.

I'm through the looking glass here, people.

For more 42nd Vizsla, follow me on... one of those...  app... things.  Just as soon as I figure out what my name is on them...