Now, thanks to the Twilight franchise we also know that Vampires apparently roll in glitter*. So this seemed like a reasonable time to address some other, lesser known stereotypes about the living-limited.
*Which, since glitter is what unicorns bleed, kind of makes sense. At least, as much as anything in that franchise.
1: Vampires all know a lot of guys named Al.
- OK, it's true that the stats kind of back this one up. I mean, Minnesota Senator Al Franken alone has about 1 hundred Vampire contacts in his Outlook folder. But in his defense, as a US Senator he's supposed to work with lawmakers on the other side of the aisle, so you can't really blame him.
Validity rating - 6/10
2: Vampires are all bad at math
- Hey, we were all thinking it. I mean, my pal Ernie the Flayer knows almost nothing about quadratic equations. Nothing.
Validity rating - 9/10
3: Vampires are all members of Zydeco bands
-This one probably stems from the heavy vampire population in and around Louisiana. But honestly. This is just small mindedness. I know many vampires, and only a few of them are in Zydeco bands. Like, 7 of them at most.
Validity rating - 2/10
4: Vampires are a literary metaphor for the aristocracy living entirely on the work of the common people and giving nothing back to society.
-That's just crazy talk. They're clearly a visual metaphor for 'Things Teenage girls think are sexy'. Honestly, do a little research.
Validity rating - 0/10
5: Vampires are lazy and just sneaking into this country illegally to steal our jobs, despite the inherent contradiction between those two things.
- Don't be stupid. That's Chupacabras.
Validity Rating - 1/10