Showing posts with label Adam Baldwin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adam Baldwin. Show all posts

Thursday, October 15, 2015

See, Adam Baldwin, This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

For the past week or so my Internet search bar has sat on the top of my screen looking like this-


Now, at first glance this might seem like sort of an odd question, since it's probably reasonable to assume that either you're already aware of why you don't like Adam Baldwin, or you don't don't like Adam Baldwin and don't particularly care about why others do don't.

To understand how I got to the point where I had to ask the question, it's important to understand a fairly fundamental point-

I tend to be completely oblivious about a lot of things going on in the world that other people seem to care a lot about*

*Seriously... I only just this last week discovered Archer.

So, the first Thing I Wasn't Aware Of-

MovieBob

I expect there are a lot of us out there who were unaware of the existence of MovieBob until fairly recently*

*I also expect that there is a much larger group of people who still are completely unaware of MovieBob's existence for that matter

For those who are still unfamiliar, the short version is - MovieBob is the guy that did that online review of the movie Pixels that everyone was passing around on Facebook a few weeks ago.

The longer version - MovieBob (real name Bob Chipman) is one of the many people making their living these days reviewing movies (and other things) online. Until recently he worked producing fairly amusing video reviews for a specific online 'culture' site which I will not name here.*

*Mostly because I don't yet know how rude I'm going to be about them and don't want to get sued, but also partially because they appear to have treated Bob pretty unfairly.

The review of the movie Pixels (If you haven't listened to it) is a delightful profane rant about the recent Adam Sandler movie that uses a zesty mix of invective and reference to biological fluids in a way that I simply have never heard before. It's well worth seven minutes of your time if you aren't bothered by that sort of thing.

Having listened to this, I started tracking down other of his reviews to listen to, because I liked his style and enjoy listening to that sort of 'cultural critique' thing. In one of his other pieces he made the observation that he felt like Joss Whedon was the right person to direct The Avengers because at the end of the day The Avengers was going to be about the group/found family dynamic and that is clearly the sort of thing that Joss Whedon does Very Very well. The way Bob phrased this was that Joss Whedon was so good at this sort of thing that at one point he had even made 'Sentient piece of Human Garbage Adam Baldwin likeable for like a minute'*

*Not an exact quote, but pretty darn close.


The Second Thing I wasn't aware of-

Apparently We Don't Like Adam Baldwin...?

Prior to hearing this, my knowledge of Adam Baldwin was -

  1. He played Jayne on Firefly, which was awesome
  2. He was some guy on the last season of Angel, which was pretty good but not as good as Gina Torres had been on that show the previous year.
  3. The second act of Full Metal Jacket has always felt a little formless to me (although I think that might be kind of the point).  Oh, and..
  4.  He once lost a fight with a manatee

So hearing him referred to as a sentient piece of human garbage by a man who's opinion I was coming to respect in a, 'Hey, you've said a lot of stuff online that I broadly agree with' kind of way gave me a moment of pause. And so I did what any sensible person would do in the circumstances and googled it.

The Third Thing I wasn't aware of-

Gamergate

To be fair, I was vaguely aware that this was a thing.  My sum total of my knowledge about it was pretty much summed up by, 'A bunch of anonymous guys on the Internet found an excuse to justify* threatening women with violent rape while distributing said women's personal information.' It's all done in the name of 'ethics', apparently.

*Justify to themselves, obviously.

It turns out that any research about why we don't like Adam Baldwin is irrevocably linked with Gamergate, which has unfortunately led me to having to learn more about the whole thing. For example, I eventually googled 'SJW', as I had no idea what it meant and people kept insisting on using it in sentences.  (It turns out it means 'Social Justice Warrior(s)', and appears to be a catchall phrase for 'Shut up, I don't want to think about that.') The reason that the whole thing is so intertwined with Adam Baldwin is...

The Fourth Thing I wasn't aware of - 

Adam Baldwin Coined the Phrase 'Gamergate' (allegedly)

No, I'm not going to put the hashtag on it.  This whole thing is dangerously searchable enough as it is, and while there's very little that Gamergate enthusiasts could do to my credit score that I haven't done myself already there's no reason to push it.

Not only did he (allegedly) coin the term, but he seems to spend a lot of time and effort using it as a hashtag on twitter. Which sort of brings us to -


One Thing that We All Already Knew 
 
Joss Whedon is a Better Person Than You.

Or me. Or anyone else not named Joss Whedon.*

*There's a case to be made for Jane Espenson...

There's an easily findable interview with Our Joss in which he addresses the Adam Baldwin question. Essentially, the question he was asked was - 'Is working with Adam Baldwin weird since the whole gamergate thing?' to which he said (and I'm paraphrasing here) 'You know, Adam is a hardworking, decent guy that always came to work ready to work hard and do his best. That's the Adam I like to think about, not the Adam who sometimes shouts down me or Felicia Day on Twitter'

That there is pretty much the definition of a classy answer, and it goes some way toward again confirming why Joss is so beloved not just by his fans but also by just about everyone who's ever worked with him.*

*Although am I the only one who gets the feeling that there's some sort of weird vibe between him and Sarah Michelle Gellar?

This, in a big circular way, eventually led me to the answer to the question I was ostensibly researching in the first place.

One Thing We ALL Should Know Instinctively

It Is Not - EVER - OK to Attack Felicia Day

Not even verbally.

Not even on Twitter.

Not cool, Adam Baldwin.


Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Ballad of Adam Baldwin and the Manatee

<Sung to the tune of the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald>

A. Baldwin went down
to the south side of town
cause for port waters he was a'yearning

When he got to the quay
he was shocked as good be
by a voice he heard while he was turning

It said 'pardon me sir
but I must know for sure
You're a Baldwin, but not Alec's brother

In that movie years back, it
was Full Metal Jacket
I believe you played Animal Mother...'

<Music break>

Said Adam, 'tis true
and in 2002
I played Jayne on the starship Seren'ty

But what seems much less clear
if there's no one else here
who is there?  Am I going dement-y?  <I am so sorry about that...>

<music break>


'Heaven's no!' said the call
'have no worries at all,
just look off of the pier and you'll see me.'

And when Adam looked out
he exclaimed with a shout
'Holy Crap, are you that big Manatee?'

And he saw it was true
in the sea deep and blue
this was much more than just a plain rubric

there a manatee, gazing,
but much more amazing
this sea cow, he sure knew his Kubrick!

<music break>


'I'm so sorry, how rude',
Adam said, like a dude 
I sure hope that did not sound offensive

I'm just all of a twitter
at such a sea critter'
The manatee looked at him, pensive


 Adam felt like a jerk
'I've just enjoyed your work'
said the Manatee - just a bit bitter

All his hope Adam seized
if this fan could be pleased
he might not trash talk 'bout him on Twitter


<Really long musical break>


'I'm so sorry,' said Adam
and thought that he had him
when he asked what to do for apology

'Well', the Manatee said,
I have got this friend Fred
And I'm sure he would never forgive all of me   <Well YOU come up with a rhyme>

If I didn't just ask
It's not much of a task
but if you could sign this picture

Adam said with a grin
let me hop right on in
and I'll sign it without any stricture


<One last musical break>

And he jumped in the water
but he shouldn't aughter
Cause when he swam up with his Sharpie

The Manatee reared,
knocked him ass over ear 
And he sank 'neath the waves like a carp-ie

Now when Autumn's winds howl
and the manatee's prowl
and they swim just as fast as they can race

Whether fish or a whale,
think of Adam's sad tale
and do NOT ever piss off your fanbase.....


<Vamp out...>