Well Hello there, other beverages

A while ago now I penned a little love note to what is hands down both my favorite beverage and plaything - Water.

Now, Water is kind of the Alpha and Omega for me (they were the first and last letter of the Geek Alphabet - still are, in fact - and the phrase means something that is both the beginning and the end of the discussion for you, e.g. Mark Ruffalo is the Alpha and Omega of Movie Hulks, incredible or otherwise.)

However, I'm sure that some of you are probably curious what today's trendy and modern Vizsla feels about other beverages

Well today is your lucky day, people-who-don't-have-anything-better-than-that-to-wonder-about.  And you might want to look into doing some volunteering or something - it really fills that empty hole in your day where the 'love and respect of others' should be.  I mean... I hear...


Anyway.


Here is - the Definitive guide to how Vizslas feel about various beverages

Coffee

If I haven't mentioned before, there are three other dogs here.  Two Shelties and a Border Collie.  Now I'm going to need you to listen closely to this because I can NOT stress it enough. 

Under NO circumstances should you give a Border Collie a caffeinated beverage.  Ever.

 That established, It's better to not interact with people in the morning until they've had at least one cup, no matter how badly you need to get outside to poop.

Tea

What people in the United Kingdom drink when they're not too busy using the metric system or systematically destroying early episodes of Doctor Who.

Pop (Soda to 48 other states.  'Coke' if you're in Texas)

I have to admit - not a huge fan.  Because when you jump up on somebody when they're trying to drink it and it spills on you your fur gets all sticky.  Although it does provide a pleasant experience when you're licking yourself later.

I may need to issue an official apology for that last sentence...

Beer

Very bad for dogs and under no circumstances should you share it with them.  I mean... I've had a cupple and what?>??;'/ WEHAT????  You wanna fight me budddy??/  HUH????

I Love you man.  No.  Like, totally.  I totally love you man.

Wine

Now, I don't actually have a lot of experience with this, but according to Auntie it's the best thing ever and I'm going to go with her opinion on this one.  And as a side note to a small percentage of the readership, there's a winery in California called Hook and Ladder that gives a 20% discount to fire service personnel.  If you contact them, ask for Candace.  She's awesome. 

Greg Kinnear

It turns out that he is not technically a beverage, despite previous claims in this column.  Neither is pudding.  I know, we were all surprised.

Vizsla (passing) out

Hey There, Water. You're awesome.

If you were to ask me to name me three favorite beverages, I would probably have to go with Water, Pudding, and Greg Kinnear

Because I have a tenuous grasp on the states of matter and am very easily distracted.  And hey, wasn't Baby Mama a good movie?*


*Said no one, ever.

CAUTION: Do NOT combine these three.

Seriously.

He never stops calling.

 But seriously.  Water is Awesome.  Not only can you drink it, you can also play in it.  Often at the same time, although sometimes that end up with your getting yelled at for soaking the kitchen floor for reasons that I do not entirely understand.*

*Also it is apparently not OK to jump out of the canoe in the middle of a lake, no matter how much the ducks are asking for it.  I know; I don't understand either.

Another great thing about water is that it's a universal solvent, which means that it will eventually erode pretty much anything.  (although you probably won't want to hang around waiting for it to finish doing so)  this leads to water doing things like -

 This.

Suck it, Kinnear.