"We have great personalities..."
-The Sleestaks
-The Sleestaks
And
it occurred to me to wonder... if everyone in your race looks exactly
the same, what does that do to your social life? Does every encounter
end up with creepy masturbatory undertones? Does the fact that every
single possible sexual partner looks exactly like your Mom AND Dad not cause a lot of late nights shuddering and doing shots of Sleestak Tequila?
I
can hear many of you now pointing out that the Sleestaks were
essentially bestial (despite their occasionally phenomenal toolmaking
abilities... seriously, do you remember the one where they'd made a
periscope?) and so - much like Komodo Dragons or people who support
Michelle Bachman, they probably don't spend much, if any, time thinking
and just do what they want when the urge takes them.
All
fine and good... until you remember Enik the Altrusian. He's either a
descendant or an ancestor of the Sleestaks (sources are vague on this
point) because the Sleestaks are in what I might describe as a
sociopathatic warp elipse. That is, I might describe it that way if I
wanted to come across as a pretentious douche. In that I don't, I'll
just say that every thousand years or so the Sleestaks went from
technologically advanced to animal and back again, over and over
again.
And
yet (apart from turning gold and wearing tunics - which at least shows
that they at some point develop a strain of puritan modesty about their
lizard-bits) they still look exactly the same as one another.
And
so we're back to the original question. What does your lonely young
Sleestak look for, exactly, while cruising the Sleestak personals?
'Young gold female - big eyes - loves camping, tunics, and long walks
by the lava pit - Seeks same'?
For
that matter, say you were married (assuming Sleestaks do such a thing)
and you're accused of being unfaithful. How on Earth would you even
know? Do they set up special code words to make sure they don't
accidentally bang the cleaning lady?
And
more - What possible point would there even BE to cheating on your
spouse if every single person you could possibly cheat on her with was
exactly the same as she was?
No wonder their society keeps collapsing.
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