Sunday, November 16, 2014

Vizsla Flashback - So, If you're an identical/clone race, does that make dating harder or easier?

I was thinking about Sleestaks earlier today (The real ones from the Sid and Marty Krofft TV series 1974-76.  I refuse to acknowledge any others).  Addendum Note - The Show in Question was 'Land of the Lost'

"We have great personalities..."
-The Sleestaks

And it occurred to me to wonder... if everyone in your race looks exactly the same, what does that do to your social life?  Does every encounter end up with creepy masturbatory undertones?  Does the fact that every single possible sexual partner looks exactly like your Mom AND Dad not cause a lot of late nights shuddering and doing shots of Sleestak Tequila?

I can hear many of you now pointing out that the Sleestaks were essentially bestial (despite their occasionally phenomenal toolmaking abilities...  seriously, do you remember the one where they'd made a periscope?) and so - much like Komodo Dragons or people who support Michelle Bachman,  they probably don't spend much, if any, time thinking and just do what they want when the urge takes them.

All fine and good... until you remember Enik the Altrusian.  He's either a descendant or an ancestor of the Sleestaks (sources are vague on this point) because the Sleestaks are in what I might describe as a sociopathatic warp elipse.  That is, I might describe it that way if I wanted to come across as a pretentious douche.  In that I don't, I'll just say that every thousand years or so the Sleestaks went from technologically advanced to animal and back again, over and over again.  

And yet (apart from turning gold and wearing tunics - which at least shows that they at some point develop a strain of puritan modesty about their lizard-bits) they still look exactly the same as one another.

And so we're back to the original question.  What does your lonely young Sleestak look for, exactly, while cruising the Sleestak personals?  'Young gold female - big eyes - loves camping, tunics,  and long walks by the lava pit - Seeks same'?

For that matter, say you were married (assuming Sleestaks do such a thing) and you're accused of being unfaithful.  How on Earth would you even know?  Do they set up special code words to make sure they don't accidentally bang the cleaning lady?  

And more - What possible point would there even BE to cheating on your spouse if every single person you could possibly cheat on her with was exactly the same as she was?

No wonder their society keeps collapsing.

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