Vizsla Flashback - An interview with my 1978 Six Million Dollar Man garbage can

This week a rare opportunity came up for us to sit down and have a chat with my 1978 Six Million Dollar Man garbage can.  Although, 'came up', might be a bit generous, as it's been sitting in the den for 36 years.

VIZSLA:  Well, first of all I want to thank you for being here.  It's fantastic to have a chance to talk with you.

THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN GARBAGE CAN: I literally have not moved in over ten years.

V:  Um..... Yeah.  So.  You look great.

6:  Thanks.  I've got a little denting along the top edge, but ... you know.. what guy in his 30s doesn't.

V:  What's it like to spend most of your time filled with garbage.

6:  You'd have to ask the tea party.

V:  HA!  I see what you did there.

6:  Thanks.  Seriously though, it's good to have a function I suppose.  Could be worse.  At least I'm not one of those action figures still in the packaging languishing on a shelf, you know?  I'm still in the game.

V:  What do you say to those who would point out that having you around provides a needless anchor to the past preventing your owner from releasing childhood memories and moving on with his life?

6:  Well, I don't think there's any need to get needlessly totemistic about it.  I mean, sometimes a garbage can is just a garbage can if I could misqoute Freud for just a moment.

V:  So you don't feel like the memories of unfulfilled childhood dreams still cling to you like the lingering bottom half of a Chewbacca sticker?

6:  I kind of like the sticker.  We've been together for a very long time.  You know... eventually you just accept your imperfections as being part of who you are, you know?

V:  That's very deep.

6:  I am very deep.

V:  About 15 inches deep.

6:  Way to blow the metaphor.

An interview with my 1978 Six Million Dollar Man garbage can

This week a rare opportunity came up for us to sit down and have a chat with my 1978 Six Million Dollar Man garbage can.  Although, 'came up', might be a bit generous, as it's been sitting in the den for 36 years.

VIZSLA:  Well, first of all I want to thank you for being here.  It's fantastic to have a chance to talk with you.

THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN GARBAGE CAN: I literally have not moved in over ten years.

V:  Um..... Yeah.  So.  You look great.

6:  Thanks.  I've got a little denting along the top edge, but ... you know.. what guy in his 30s doesn't.

V:  What's it like to spend most of your time filled with garbage.

6:  You'd have to ask the tea party.

V:  HA!  I see what you did there.

6:  Thanks.  Seriously though, it's good to have a function I suppose.  Could be worse.  At least I'm not one of those action figures still in the packaging languishing on a shelf, you know?  I'm still in the game.

V:  What do you say to those who would point out that having you around provides a needless anchor to the past preventing your owner from releasing childhood memories and moving on with his life?

6:  Well, I don't think there's any need to get needlessly totemistic about it.  I mean, sometimes a garbage can is just a garbage can if I could misqoute Freud for just a moment.

V:  So you don't feel like the memories of unfulfilled childhood dreams still cling to you like the lingering bottom half of a Chewbacca sticker?

6:  I kind of like the sticker.  We've been together for a very long time.  You know... eventually you just accept your imperfections as being part of who you are, you know?

V:  That's very deep.

6:  I am very deep.

V:  About 15 inches deep.

6:  Way to blow the metaphor.

An Interview with Imaginary Benedict Cumberbatch

Welcome once again to our semi-regular feature* in which we here at Vizsla HQ are simply thrilled to welcome some fabulous people for a compelling and insightful interview, marred only slightly by the fact that they aren't actually 'here' in any conventionally accepted usage of the word.

*Which is to say we did this once before and doing another one seemed to fall somewhere between being a good idea and admitting publicly that I didn't have any particularly good original ideas today.  Look, I'm actually not feeling very well today and I've been under a lot of stress and who are you to judge me.

Ahem.

Today I'm thrilled to be able to bring you my thrilling discussion with the only acceptable T.V. Sherlock Holmes - Imaginary Benedict Cumberbatch


<Oh - and Spoiler Warning concerning Star Trek: Into Darkness, btw>

VIZSLA: Hello there Mr. Cumberbatch, [Imaginary], it's a great pleasure to imagine speaking with you

IMAGINARY BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH:  Please, call me Imaginary Benedict

V: How nice of you, thanks!

IBC: It's how I roll.  I'm terribly, terribly 'Street'

V: Yes, I've always believed that to be the case.

IBC:  Word.

V:  Let's talk Sherlock for just a moment.  I understand that Martin Freeman is an incredible snuggler.

IBC:  ...  that's... not actually show related...

V:  But he is, right?

IBC:  Oh, he totally is.

V:  So I finally got around to watching Star Trek last night and... I'm sorry... I just can't stop thinking about how much you look like an otter.

IBC:  It's true.  I'm one eighth otter on my mother's side.

V:  Well, that explains it.

IBC:  Did you enjoy Star Trek?

V:  I did, yes.  Although watching it forced me to acknowledge that I had never seen the original series episode 'Space Seed', in which we first met Khan, the character you play in the film.

IBC:  For Shiz.

V:  I know.  So I went to Netflix and watched it.

IBC:  And what did you think?

V:  I think I saw a lot more of Ricardo Montalban's flesh than I ever wanted to.

IBC:  I am so sorry.

V:  Yes, I was kind of blaming you for that.

IBC:  Totally my bad.  Totally.