Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The Unseemly Yet Adorable Underbelly

Breaking news -

In association with standard N-SOAk reporting, we here at The 42nd Vizsla have uncovered the following sinister transcript from a recent meeting of the international affiliation of Sea Otters.

We caution you - What you are about to read is deeply disturbing.  And kind of adorable.  I mean, look at their cute little hands...

<Begin Transcript>

There is a scratchy rumble of voices and chairs being adjusted as the members of the organization try to adjust their stout tails into a comfortable position.

HEAD OTTER (OTTRIMUS PRIME) - OK, OK, we're going to go ahead and get this meeting underway

<General grumbling and the sound of someone breaking clams open on a rock with their adorable little fingers.  So human.  So human.>

OTTRIMUS PRIME - Alright, now I've been receiving your reports from all regions of infiltration, and I'm pleased to be able to tell you that so far our plans to take over the planet and subvert the human race are proceeding 

<General applause, mixed with some slight splashing noises as a few of the members in the back begin to groom themselves with water from an available pool.  Just Awwwwww.  So cute.>

SUBORDINATE OTTER A - What about the puny humans?  Surely they must have noticed us maneuvering into position for this takeover?

OTTRIMUS PRIME - They have, obviously.  But fortunately no sooner are they deciding to alert the nations of the world to the impending threat than they get distracted by the absolutely delightful way we hold hands while floating downstream together at which point they just start cooing uncontrollably and throwing us peices of fish.  The Fools!

OTTER STEVE - You mean like the way Otter Hank and Otter Bill are holding hands right now?

OTTRIMUS PRIME - Yes, exactly.  Although Otter Hank and Otter Bill - we really only ever do that while floating so that we don't get separated when we fall asleep.

OTTER HANK (Possibly OTTER BILL... it's hard to tell...) We're not holding hands for floating.  We're just holding hands.  Don't judge us.

OTTRIMUS PRIME - Hey - no judging here.  Did you see how the humans all went apeshit for those gay penguins?  You guys are gold.

SUBORDINATE OTTER B - All hail for the oncoming Otterman Empire!


<upswell of noise of tails being slapped on the floor in just the cutest way>

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