Saturday, June 14, 2014

Doctor Who Satuday - 10 Dullest Episodes

Originally written for the Doctor Who Ratings Guide back in 2005
Top 10 dullest episodes by Mike Heinrich 26/8/05
10 ten episodes that I still like to say very nice things about but at the end of The day just aren't terribly engaging for me to watch, despite the fact That I'm sure everyone involved in the production is very nice, kind To children and animals and I'm sure tried their best.

A few moments ago, while reading Steve Cassidy's review of Rememberence of the Daleks (Quite a good read and worth my everlasting respect if only for describing the 7th Doctor as an 'Intergalactic Henry Kissinger', which still makes me laugh even as I type this) I realized something important.

There are approximately four million things that I'd rather be doing than watching Remembrance of The Daleks.

I own the VHS release of it. I bought the DVD and only ever took the shrinkwrap off of it out Of a mild curiousity as to what little advertisement cards might have been stuck inside. I actually Put on the commentary track once and listened to exactly 14 seconds before having the most wonderful and restful nap I can recall taking in the last ten years.

Despite the fact that I don't really have anything negative to say about Remembrance, I'm forced to admit that it just bores the living crap out of me.

Which then led me to think about what other episodes that might apply to... To which that might apply... About which to apply thereto are.... Oh screw it, you know what I mean.


In the order that I happen to think of them - the top 10 episodes of Doctor Who that I personally happen to find a bit dull.

10: Let's start it off with the obvious one, The Web Planet.

Now, oddly enough, I really like the first two episodes of this one. That's how long I can keep up with the whole thing. Blah blah brave experiment blahdy all alien chorus numbers blah blah blah. And then the napping begins. Much like Colin Powell, I respect what it's trying to do - I just have no interest in spending any time together.

9: Remembrance of the Daleks.

See above comments

8: This one pains me to admit. OK, I'm just going to say it. The Mind Robber.

I do like the premise. I could spout off all the usual lines about 'bold use of surrealism'. Perhaps I'd even throw in the phrase 'Oddball episode' But come on. This adventure is so dull even Frazer Hines couldn't be bothered to show up for all of it. I like the concept. I just wish the exection had been more engaging. But that's just me.

7: This one holds the curious position of combining overwhelmingly affectionate nostalgia with complete disinterest. The Mind of Evil.

One of the first episodes I ever saw, actually. Hence the affectionate nostalgia. But somewhere between the prison being taken over by the convicts, then UNIT, then the Master, then a charming Dutch couple who happen to be walking by at the time, I just stop caring. I think of this one much like Grandma. We love Grandma. We don't want to go see Grandma. Because there is absolutely nothing whatsoever to do at Grandma's.

6: The Planet of Evil.

No surprise on this one, I expect. If you watch The Tom Baker Years (And if you haven't, go do so now) you will observe that upon reaching a clip of this episode Tom Baker sits quitely for a moment, mentions that he recognizes Prentice Hancock, and then is forced to admit that he retains absolutely no memory of this story. That says something to me.

5: This one actually surprises me, but I have to admit it - The Creature from the Pit.

Sure, it's got the philospher with some fun lines. And the titular Creature has a penis. Beyond that I just can't get worked up about this one. I don't dislike it, I just wouldn't invite it to parties.

4: The 1996 Telefilm with the Silver Pertwee Era Logo.

I liked the regeneration sequence quite a bit. Moreso, actually, than a certain more recently viewed clip of a similar nature. After that I vaguely recall a motorcycle chase and hoping that Eric Roberts would die (so, just an average afternoon). I'd go check to see if there's anything more to remember about this story, but I'm actually getting sleepy just thinking about it.

3: Resurrection of the Daleks.

I promise I don't have anything against the Daleks. I'm actually terribly fond of several of their stories. The Chase, for example, is one of my favorites as it's pleasingly ridiculous from start to finish. Resurrection, however, just doesn't do it for me. It's not that it's bad, it's just that the acting is in many quarters terribly wooden, the plot doesn't make even the tiniest scrap of sense if you stop to think about it, and it's whole raison d'etre appears to be to bring back Davros and reflect lovingly on how much we all really enjoyed Destiny of the Daleks, which we of course didn't. OK, maybe it IS just bad.

2: OK, this one may be just me. Vengeance on Varos.

People seem to love it. I honestly don't understand why. I'm not offended by it. I don't think it's too violent. I just (Peri's all too brief Bird Transformation Scene notwithstanding) can't find it in myself to care about anything that happens to any of these people. Although I do confess to a twinge of sympathy for poor Areta filling in all that tedious paperwork only to have her entire system of government overthrown, thus rendering it unnecessary. Poor thing. Honestly, I'd rather watch Timelash as with that one there's at least plenty to make fun of. If one was into that sort of mean spirited behavior. Which I am of course not. No sir.

1: The number one most least interesting story in the history of televised Doctor Who to me personally is...
The Monster of Peladon.

I'm actually so disinterested in this story that I can't even be bothered to say anything about it. Just take a moment to think about why you haven't watched it anytime recently and assume that I said something along those lines.
And if you could imagine that I had really great abs while I said it, I'd appreciate it very much.
I should note that for the sake of this list I haven't included the following:
  • Episodes of the new series, as I'm still just too excited to be watching new Who to be bored with them yet.
  • The books, as there were - frankly - far too many of them that were pretty boring, all things considered.
  • The audios, as I'm poor and haven't been able to get many of them.
  • Episodes which were partially or completely destroyed. This rule was mostly to excuse myself from having to mention The Space Pirates.

No comments:

Post a Comment