This post was originally published on August 21st, 2013.
A quick Internet search has turned up no further information, which I'm sure is the question at the top of your mind. Justice, like the K-cups, remains undelivered...
Our story begins with a man named Tim Lake
resident of Phoenix, Arizona (that's one of the hot weather
south-western ones, for those international readers) I recently came
across Tim's heartbreaking story... um... I don't actually remember how I
came across Tim's heartbreaking story to be honest.
For those who can't wait for the summary you're about to receive, here's the news report in question.
Short version (although you really
should watch the news report, because it's funny as Hell) Tim ordered
some of those K-cups for individual serving coffee makers and an ice
cube tray from Amazon. (I know- but hold on to that thought, we'll come
back to it).
According to footage from what appears to
be a fairly high quality color surveillance camera watching Tim's front
step (again - hold that thought for a moment) a Blond woman whom Tim
accurately describes as 'At first we thought it was Dog the Bounty
Hunter and he'd just really let himself go' walks up nervously to his
front step, grabs Tim's Package (Easy, Shriner..) and scurries away in
what can only be described as the most attention grabbing
Tim, armed with this footage, not only
printed up some impressive looking 4 color posters with screen grabs
and descriptions of the incident, he also contacted the Police, The
local News Outlets (based on the fact that we're watching a news story
about the incident) AND set up an e-mail account for tips about the
*And on that note I'd like to give a shout out
to the fact that he seems to have consciously chosen AOL as the ISP for
this, having determined that that was the funniest one to go with. You
have to respect that kind of eye for detail. The account is
HeatherbraeDriveJustice@AOL.com, for those with any interest in
participating in the ongoing story.
One can only
imagine what the process of filming his interview was like in person,
but based on the fact that the news crew went to the effort of editing
in Liam Neeson's speech from Taken, it seems clear that at least one
person on the story got what Tim was doing here.
the moment when Tim realizes on Camera 'Oh My God.... I could be making
iced coffee right now...'* all on its own justifies the existence of
*Or words to that effect, I didn't go back to the clip for exact wording.
point funny - the one commenter on the YouTube posting of this video
who seems infuriated that Tim is so upset about this when there are so
many 'like... real problems in the world, man!'
clearly Tim Lake is one funny dude. You have to appreciate someone who
is willing to take something this minor and run it into something this
ridiculous. And I appreciate the detail work - not just the usage of
AOL, but also his usage of 'In the year of our lord' and the slight
break in his voice while reading the poster. Nicely done.
Now on to the questions that this leaves us with-
-Why the Hell does Tim have high quality CCTV being recorded of his own front door?
-What exactly does Tim do for a living that affords him both
A- the free time do go to this much effort?
B- the cash on hand to print those posters?
-Did an Arizona local news crew SERIOUSLY just pay for the rights to
use a 5 second clip from the movie Taken just for this story?
-What circumstances, exactly, led to Tim ordering an ice cube tray
from Amazon. Seriously. Who goes out of their way to order an ice cube
-AOL still exists? Seriously?
Come on Channel 5. Follow up on this stuff
Informed Vizsla's want to know