A little note of explanation first-
One of the cool features of blogspot is that it tells you the countries that your readers are in.
This is how I know that the Vizlsa has a few readers in Russia, a couple in Germany, and one in Singapore.
To you I say, respectively, Zdravstvujtye, Guten Tag, and Hey there Nick.
to you that I preface this piece- In the US we have a game we call
'Football' that is completely NOT the game that the rest of the planet
calls 'Football' It's more like playing rugby while dressed up as a
We also have something we call a 'world series'
to which we don't invite any other countries to compete.* That's just
how we roll.
*OK, Canada. But they don't really count
should also mention that I don't include the UK readers in this
introductory explanation as they have been cheerfully mocking us for all
these things for years and thus are already up to speed. Hey there
Mr. Quinn, all the same.
years back, my Father and I had season tickets to the Vikings (on the
off chance that we acquire readership in Norway at some stage, that's
the name of the local football team. I'm not entirely sure whether I
need to apologize for it or not, so I'll just move on...)
Vikings have a long and not particularly productive rivalry with the
Green Bay Packers (that's the team from Wisconsin. It's another of the
states in the middle. It's named after their then-flourishing
meat-packing industry. Just roll with this for the moment.)
anytime the Vikings and Packers play a game against each other, people
get pretty worked up about it. (That's 'worked up' by American
standards. Roughly one-third the level of Manchester United) During
these games people spend a lot of time shouting about how the other team
sucks by using such clever slogans as 'your team sucks'
Which is all well and good, when those happen to be the two teams playing.
of the problems - one of the MANY problems - with average Vikings fans
(and I actually am one, so I'm not just being bitchy here) is that they
tend to feel SO much hostility towards the Packers that they feel the
need to shout about them regardless of WHO the Vikings happen to be
playing at that moment.
Which seems like a waste of effort to me.
This leads to a lot of conversations at games along the lines of-
"We're playing the Ravens, aren't we?"
"I don't think they're even playing today..."
"Are we watching the same game?"
And then things go downhill from there.
so, one particularly cold December afternoon, the Vikings had just won a
game against some team that was steadfastly insisting on NOT being the
Green Bay Packers. I think it was The Buccaneers or something. (Do we
need to apologize to Pirates for this one?)
A large and
particularly beer soaked fan walking out of the dome shouted 'Vikings
rule!' Which, if nothing else, was at least relevant to what we'd just
been watching. Plus they HAD actually won, so- fair enough.
A larger and more beer soaked fan next to him responded in kind with 'Packers suck!'
which point I yelled at the top of my lungs 'I hate peas!', on the
principle that if we were going to start yelling out things that had
nothing to do with today's game, it might as well be on a topic I
was interested in.
There was a moment of confused silence.
the woman walking next to me turned to me and said, her voice full
of amazement at the liberating step the conversation at taken, 'You're
right! Peas Suck!!'
It was at this point that several
of the fans in the immediate vicinity picked up on what was going on and
joined in with a mighty chant of 'Vikings rule! Peas suck!' Which
they repeatedly at larger and larger volume all the way to the parking
I suppose the moral of the story is that is
they're going to refuse to stay on topic anyway, you might as well keep