So a few months back, the local fire department (city unnamed to protect...well, me from lawsuits actually) got a call to respond to one of the local motels (also unnamed, but mostly because I forget which one it was) to a woman having a seizure.
Now, this is in no way an uncommon call - happens all the time. And for the record, on the off chance that the bulk of you didn't already know, there isn't actually a lot you can do for seizures other than keep them from flailing into things and giving them some oxygen after they come out of it (Now you can't say that you didn't learn something today. Unless you already knew that and spent the rest of the day in a yurt, in which case - as always - your problems are your own)
The story however got a little more interesting when they got to the motel. It was not merely a woman having a seizure. It was more specifically an epileptic prostitute having a seizure.
I am reasonably certain that she was not there to teach a foreign language as she did not appear to be armed.
What's notable about this scenario, in case it wasn't obvious at first blush - the gentleman currently employing the young lady in question (I think his name was 'John') was there. He was the reporting party.
So, take a moment to imagine the day John is having-
Step One - You procure the services of a 'working girl' for the purposes of spending a cordial afternoon discussing poetry
Step Two - You make accommodations at the local Motel for a room in which you and your young lady companion can have this discussion
Step Three* - Your young lady companion collapses into epileptic seizure.
*I'm assuming here that the seizure came before the poetry reading as the woman in question was still dressed (well... more or less...) and I think that it's unlikely that John would have taken the time to reclothe her out of concern for her modesty. Which means that on top of everything else John is out however much money a quick round of poetry costs these days. Poor guy just can't catch a break.
What is Step Four....
A: With as much dignified calm as you can muster, check out, get back in your car and return home to your wife and children? (I'm playing the odds here.)
B: Report the incident to the front desk and then wait for the emergency responders to arrive so that you know she's all right.
John was a 'B' man.
My final observation on this tale is that if you do a google search for images of 'Epileptic Prostitute', you do not find anything that you feel good about posting, Or having seen.
Vizsla heading out to attempt to gouge out my inner eye.