Monday, January 19, 2015

Pope-in' Ain't Easy

I observed to a few people this morning that is must often be difficult being the Pope.

Actually, I think my exact words were, 'Man being the Pope must be a pain in the ass sometimes.'*

*Does that count as a Hell-worthy trespass?  I honestly don't know.  I swear, I was just thinking of the Pope's feelings.

But then I was thinking that there are obviously a few Pope-perks that come with the job, so maybe it isn't so bad a gig after all.

Since then I've been going back and forth on the issue, and so I've decided to inflict my inner monologue on the subject on you share my thoughts on the topic here.

PRO- Comfy Shoes.

Seriously.  Those things look like you're walking on a cloud.  Although, given the positions direct through-line to the Man Upstairs* perhaps that's exactly why he wears them.  You know, like getting your sea legs, but with cloud legs.

*If you believe in that sort of thing.  Probably a requirement for holding the job, now I think of it...

CON- People constantly asking for you to pray for this, help with that, and give-a-shit about the other.

Honestly - that just HAS to be exhausting

PRO- Being the direct mouthpiece for an Omniscient and Omnipotent higher power.

'Why yes, I'm certain that the answer is 'Albuquerque'.  Oh, you disagree?  I'm sorry, which of us is speaking directly to God?  Damn Straight, Bitch.'

CON- You can almost never just decide to blow off work for a night and go out to the bar with the guys.

Headline, Minneapolis - Pope seen in vicious barfight at The Mermaid.  Story at 11.  Yeah, that's going to go down well.

PRO- The hat is pretty cool.

No, seriously.  The hat IS pretty cool.

CON- Probably have to learn Latin.

Unless the big Mass-tionary has everything spelled out phonetically, which seems unlikely.

PRO- Get to pick your own cool Pope name.

Much like picking your superhero or stripper name (although almost no popes to date have used the 'Childhood Pet plus Street you grew up on' formula.)  Sadly popes thus far seem to have kept it fairly under control, which is a real disappointment to those of us waiting for Pope Yartek, Leader of the Alien Voord I

I don't know... Seems like six of one, half a dozen of the other really.

Do they have a six month trial pope period?

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