Friday, December 13, 2013

Dispatches from the Front - Inside the War on Christmas

<The following being an excerpt from the official report submitted by Col. Frank 'Killer' Koepke, 2nd Battalion Commander of the 403rd Infantry Unit - aka the Rudolph Flayers>

December 13th, 2013
Official Report
Operation 'Ass-Cane'

13:45  403rd Dispatched to area of reported 'Celebration of Christmas'.  On arrival in outer perimeter heard distinct sound of someone saying 'Merry Christmas' instead of a non-specific holiday greeting.  Specialist Hayle dispatched to stab speaker in throat. 

14:10  Unit arrived on scene of Fendleson Home.  Observed Christmas tree in front window.

14:13 Called for air support.

14:16  Fendleson Home hit with tactical nuclear strike.

Report ends

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