Friday, December 20, 2013

It ain't Peace on Earth, but I'll take it

Two weeks ago, my windshield wiper fluid jets stopped working.

No matter how many times- or how forcefully- I might pull that lever by the steering wheel, they would steadfastly refuse to spray any windshield wiper fluid onto the windshield of my car.

On the off chance that some of the readership lives in sensible climates, I should explain.  Here in Minnesota (that's one of the States in the middle.  A little bit North and West of Chicago, if that helps at all) when it snows and the roads get icy (which is a not-insignificant percentage of the year) the City, State or County (depending on location) responds by putting down salt (or variant thereof) to melt the ice.  Except the City of St. Paul, who have apparently decided that they're too good for that kind of thing and would rather just have a ton of avoidable accidents.

The salt (or whatever chemical these, our modern roadway scientist have substituted) does a reasonable job of keeping the roads less 'kill-me-able', however they also do a really great job of accumulating on the windshield of your car in and rendering it completely opaque .08 seconds after entering the freeway.  Hence the need to keep constantly refilling your windshield wiper fluid reservoir for several months.

Now, it should be fairly common knowledge that I'm not heavy into automotive repair.  And so, when my car decided - the very next morning after this years first big snowfall- that it simply wasn't going to be dispensing any windshield wiper fluid this year I treated it as I would any automotive problem.

I stared at it blankly for a few minutes and then went inside and had a glass of wine.

So for two full weeks after that I spent every commute peering desperately through vague half shadows on the front windscreen, stopping at gas stations every couple of miles to wipe off the current layer of crap and desperately hoping that I might be able to tell the difference between 'off ramp' and 'oncoming semi' by the quality of salt-shadow that they threw.

It was therefore with some surprise that I accidentally hit the windshield washer fluid lever this afternoon and was greeted by an enthusiastic - nay - sprightly jet of fluid.  From both jets.  Full force.

I have no idea why they weren't working before, and I have even less idea why they've suddenly started working again.  Lacking any better explanation, I'm declaring it to be my Christmas Miracle.

That's the key to Happy Holidays people -

Ridiculously low standards.

Happy Advent Calendar day 20.

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