Sunday, December 8, 2013

The great Advent Calendar/Flashback Day Mish-mash

You know that thing where you start to write a column for the day and you think to yourself, 'My this seems vaguely familiar.', and then you realize that you wrote about this exact same thing nearly a year ago?

Yeah.  That.

Advent Calendar Day 8 - One from the vaults-

What Vizslas know about holidays:

Now, I'll be the first to admit that Vizslas are not exactly a comprehensive source of information about human holidays.

That said, I have managed to piece together a pretty fair picture of what I think is going on:

The one with the tree
Which is celebrated with three solid days of cleaning and fighting about money - Then pie.

The one with the Ham
The same as Treeday, except instead of fighting about money this one is traditionally celebrated by yelling at the Vizsla for tracking in mud

The one with the turkey
Cleaning, rolling in some leaves, then sleeping in front of football.

That day we drink a lot of wine
This holiday is celebrated a lot at our house.
Seriously, this must be a REALLY important one to people.

And while I kind of don't understand Treeday, Hamday, Turkeyday and Wineday(s), at least their customs are readily observable for the interested dog to note so that they might be more prepared to eat even greater amounts of Ham/Turkey/Meatloaf the following year.  (Meatloaf is the traditional Treeday dinner.  Don't know why.  Possibly in memory of Saint Meat.  Or possible Saint Loaf.)

Then there are the smaller less-about-giving-people-food-to-the-vizlsa holidays.

There are things called 'birthday's which even we dog-kind get to celebrate.  The border healer just had his first one the other day and as a celebration we were all given several chicken flavor carvers, which are (barring ham) just about the best thing ever.  People generally receive cards and gifts on their 'birthday's but in that dogs generally don't read or need stuff, I'm happier with our traditions

Then there are some holidays that people celebrate by nothing more than just not getting out of bed in the morning (Something that I choose to view as an oblique tribute to vizslas, as we totally ROCK at not getting out of bed)  There's something called presidents day, which seems to commemorate a sale.  And 4th of July, which I personally am not a fan of because everything becomes chemically unstable and liable to explode as the day goes on, and if you bark to daddy to point this out he gets irritable.

But this most mysterious of all the just-stay-in-bed holidays is this thing called 'Sickday'

So far all I've managed to piece together about it is that one traditionally begins the celebrations with a congratulatory phonecall to one's employer, commemorating the occasion.  (so it's possibly something to do with secretaries day..?) And then either laying down on the bed or the couch, whereupon one watches lots and lots of Doctor Who.

As holiday's go, it's pretty low key, but I do have to mention that the traditional sick day meal (Chicken noodle soup out of a can heated in the microwave and ginger ale on ice) SUCKS when compared to Hamday or Turkeyday meals.

And get this - No one even comes by with a card or gifts!

I know, right?

And attempting to pep up the Sickday celebrations with a little tug the rope or ballplay (easy there shriner!) is NOT looked upon favorably.

Also, this being a holiday, I think it's reasonable to assume that there was some pleasantly non-offensive pagan holiday on the date and the early christian church co-opted it with their feast day to Saint Sick because it was easier to just pretend that everybody was celebrating their holiday instead of going to all the effort of creating something positive or productive of their own.  But I'm really just playing the odds there.

I still say there should be cards and gifts though

Vizsla out

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