Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Never Yell Pat Nixon in a Crowded Movie Theater

A while back I wrote about how, after years of complaining that my dreams were too straightforward and easy to interpret (in addition to being shockingly prone to the usage of clumsy travel metaphors,) my subconscious chose to respond by beginning to feed me a nightly buffet of inexplicable crap, as if to say, 'Fine.  Spend some time working out what this might be about, asshole.'*

*My subconscious is kind of a jerk.

Well, that trend continues.  Here's the latest serving-

Last night I dreamed - And I can not stress enough that I am not making this up - that I went to the movie theater.  Fair enough, I've been meaning to go see The Winter Soldier for weeks now*, so there's nothing particularly surprising there.

*I know, I know.

What is slightly more surprising is that sitting next to me in the movie theater was former first lady Pat Nixon.*

*Wife of Richard M. Nixon, our 37th president.  Seriously, it would not kill you to do a little of the research.

This is surprising for a number of reasons.  Primarily, she died in 1993 from Lung Cancer, so she's probably unlikely to catch the latest adventures of Captain America, which is too bad, because I hear it's awesome and she would probably have really enjoyed it.  Also, the odds of me recognizing Pat Nixon are slim to none as until I googled her a little while ago I had absolutely no idea what she looked like.*  Or anything else about her beyond her name and who her husband was.

*Interestingly enough, in my dream she looked more or less like the pictures of her online, which probably just indicates that I've actually seen a picture of her at some stage and it just wasn't important enough to be retained in conscious memory.  Still worth noting though.

So, having found myself in a crowded  movie theater sitting next to Pat Nixon, naturally she and I started chatting.  And it turned out that she was absolutely charming.  We chatted, we laughed, we totally bonded in a 'this was just a dream and didn't really happen' sort of way.  Unfortunately, we did this in a movie theater while the movie was playing, and so about half way through the movie we got kicked out, which I'm choosing to view as some sort of irony.

This is why you shouldn't pick fights with your own brain.

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