Thursday, April 24, 2014

The Direct Through-Line From Pronouns to Bestiality

Back in the 70s, when there was a brief period where we still believed that there might be hope for the American Educational System*, there was a thing on TV called Schoolhouse Rock.

*We got over that one pretty quickly.  Thanks, Reagan years.

The premise was basically that if you regularly interrupted Saturday Morning Cartoons* with three minute long cartoon songs about various educational topics then kids might mistake them for entertainment and actually pay attention/retain something.

*A time honored ritual now lost to Digital Television and Netflix.  Sad, really.

They started with simple math songs, basically running the multiplication tables for any given integer in any given song.  Two was quite good, if somewhat biblically based.  Eight was positively haunting and beautiful.  Three was charming.  And just for fun, Twelve explained on a ten year old's level of reasoning why we use base ten as our default standard for mathematics and it was freaking brilliant.

Based on the success of the math series, they also did one on science (Telegraph Line - about the nervous system- remains a rock classic.)  Then they did a series on American History, because it was 1976*.  Then they did one on linguistics, and as any of you that have ever met me know - linguistics is where my heart lies.

*  If I have to explain to you why 1976 is important in the annals of American History than I'm afraid you just proved the point I made in the first paragraph.  Or you might be from another country.  If so - it was the Bicentennial.  For the American readership - that means 200 year anniversary.  It was a big deal in 1976.  They painted the watertower across the street from our house red white and blue.

The best of the linguistics songs by a significant margin was Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla.*

*A case could be made for 'Unpack my Adjectives'.

If you are unfamiliar with Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla, you should pause at this point and check it out here.

Now, to address the first question you have - yes.  Apparently Rhinoceroses can hop.

The next obvious question...  Did we just watch an underage girl fall in love with an aardvark???

Like... 'in love' in love...?

Because... that's kind of how it reads.

And in what mythical land do Kangaroos, Aardvarks and Rhinoceroses coexist?  And utilize public transport?

See, this is why it's inadvisable to go back to the things you loved as a child...

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