There's been a lot of talk about marriage lately in America. And let's be honest - it's kind of expected in this day and age that you write your own vows. Not doing it is commiserate with basically saying to your future betrothed 'Oh whatever, let's just get this over with'. Not a great way to start the honeymoon.
So, in the spirit of public service - here are a few of your less preferable options for your self-written wedding vows. Ignore this advice at your own peril-
- 'I knew the first moment that I looked into your eyes that you were more or less adequate'
-'So I guess this proves I'm not gay'
-'We're honeymooning in Aruba. That's an amazing place to hide a body...'
-'One last check - your sister's still not single, right?'
-'I'm hoping that this gesture of love will finally convince you to give me the handcuff key'
-'Can we hurry this up? I feel the chlamydia returning.'
-'You know, the things this little lady has taught me about felching...'