Friday, May 30, 2014

His Death Cult Had A Name-O

Newton's Second* Law of Inappropriate Workplace Conversation: 

-A Workplace conversation that is becoming increasingly inappropriate will tend to continue to grow increasingly inappropriate unless acted upon by an outside force.  Like HR.

 *His first law is the more widely known - Don't trust that Betty-Sue in Marketing.  She's a total bitch.  In case you were wondering.

Some of you may recall the recent story about our office-wide obsession with Teacup Pigs

Things have continued to spiral out of control from that point. 

For example, today the Teacup Pig Death Cult* was given an official name:  Persimmon Rain. 

*Someone please add that to the list of awesome band names. 

Persimmon, of course, is the name of the teacup pig.  It is now lost to history whether he was given the name Persimmon after becoming evil, or if the move to evil was precipitated by being given it.  Regardless, it suits him well, and has comprehensively stuck by this point. We have seen the face of evil.  And its name is Persimmon.  Hence, his death cult: Persimmon Rain.

This is pleasing on a couple of levels.  First of all, it sounds very mellow and chilled out.  The persimmon is a wild fruit related to the tomato, and the concept of having them rain down on you sounds very 'back-to-nature-y', although in reality it would probably hurt a little bit. It definitely sounds more relaxed and socially acceptable than 'small pig dancing in uncontrollable joy as the blood of the innocent pours down onto him from above', But then, what doesn't.

Second, that makes the Death Cult initials 'PR', which means that you can totally pass off your death cult related activities as being some sort of public relations exercise and the not-we will have no idea what you're really up to.

See Betty-Sue?  It all comes back to marketing.

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