Thursday, May 22, 2014

I Summon Thee, Teacup Pig! And The World Shall Bleed!

At the office for the past few weeks we've become obsessed with Teacup Pigs.

It all started with an offhand reference to them in an old episode of How I Met Your Mother.  This led to Googling, which led to adorable pictures, which led to the teacup pig becoming the focal point of a sort of demonic death cult, determined to use his adorableness as a means toward his ultimate goal of world domination/destruction.

You know, like these things do.

It ran something like this-

Monday:  Oh, look how Cute!  There's images of him online wearing tiny rain boots!

Tuesday: "I'm Teacup Pig, look how cute I am!"  <Said in high lilty adorable teacup pig voice>

Wednesday: "Look at my adorable long lashes!  Burn things for me!" <Still in high lilty voice>

Thursday:  <High Lilty Voice> "Kill them.  Kill them all."  <Normal Voice> "I don't know Teacup Pig... I mean... that seems a little har..." <Slightly more hysterical Lilty Voice>  "I Thought You LOOOVED me!  Kill Them!  Kill Them All!"

Friday:  <Increasingly disturbed high lilty voice> "Look!  Look at my adorable tiny hooves as I frolic and dance in a shower of blood of the innocent!  Make the innocent blood rain for teacup pig!  Rain!!  WHEEE WHEEEWHEE"

And so forth.

To make things more disturbing (If such a thing is possible) - we're in the middle of a massive building renovation that involves cleaning out all the storage spaces.  Going through a closet across the hall we discovered....

Now, I don't want to jump to any alarmist conclusions here... But I'm pretty sure he is the dark one come forth to end the world and we accidentally summoned him.

Sorry about that, planet...

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