Friday, January 3, 2014

Kill, Ling-Ling, Kill!

A few months ago I decided to throw a couple of ads up on the blog because at the end of the day I'm kind of a whore and they offered me money.*

*Side note - at the current tally I have made $1.29 in the last three months off of click throughs (which I refuse to spell incorrectly no matter what the ad people say).  The threshold for them cutting me a check is $100.  Which means that I can look forward to a big fat payday sometime around 2032, at which point $100 will buy approximately half a candy bar.

What the inserted ads have done for me however is provide an interesting window on how ad tracking technology attempts to wrap it's little mechanical brain around the blog's content.  There are two ads.  On any given day they will be for such unforgettable combinations as 'Life insurance and Panties'* of 'World of Warcraft and chemical addiction therapy' (There might be an argument to be made on that one...)

*Best.  Band Name.  Ever.

Which brings me to two days ago, when a glance at the bottom of the page showed an ad for some manner of nature conservancy place where one could sponsor an endangered animal. 

Only in my wine-bedazzled state, I confused the concepts of 'Sponsor' and 'adopt', and had a vague impression that they were actually offering to ship you endangered animals.

Furthermore, I also confused 'animal' and 'species', which gave me the impression that they were offering to ship me, for example, not one Giant Panda, but all of them.

Can you even imagine how convenient that would be for your average budding super-villain?  'Hmm, evil-self, I'd like to conquer the planet but where or where can one find a relatively cost-effective army with which to overrun same?'  BING - Adsense freakin' PROVIDES!  "Hello, Friends of Nature.  I'd like to order all of the worlds Panda's!  Yes, this is for the purpose of rampaging.  What?  Herbivores?  Oh.  But I thought.... right... OK, What can you show me in a Giant Otter?  Yes, that sounds great.  Mastercharge, please."

For $1.29, I like to think that I've brought the world one step closer to Evil Dominion status.

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