Friday, January 10, 2014

This Year's Peter Scolari Hall Of Not Quite As Much Fame Inductees

Well, it's that time again.  The time when we celebrate the new inductees to the Peter Scolari Hall of... well, you read the title.

Established in 1993 in association with the release of both the film Philadelphia and literally vats full of gin fueled tears of bitterness at the Scolari household, the Hall exists as a monument to those who started out on equal footing and then fell so far.  SO very far.  So very, very far.  Stupid f**king Forest Gump.  <sniff>


This years Honored inductees-

Andrew Ridgeley

Now actually officially known as 'That other guy from Wham.  You know- the one that wasn't George Michael.  I think he might be dead now'  

Mssr. Ridgeley - Who is actually still alive, I'll save you the trouble of googling him - may still feel the sting of critical reaction to his solo album 'Son of Albert' (hint- it wasn't good...) but he can nonetheless console himself that no one gives a crap who he blows in public restrooms.

David A. Stewart

Or, that guy who used to stand behind Annie Lennox, as he's customarily known in the United States.

Mr. Stewart actually has gone on to have a full, rich and varied career after the breakup of the Eurythmics in 1990.  But most of it was in Europe, so we in the US like to pretend that it doesn't exist.  Much like our attitude toward both Cricket and Portugal. 

Destiny's Less Popular Children

Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams (but not that Michelle Williams.  No, a different one.  Yes, I'm sure.)  

We decline to include the several other earlier incarnation members of Destiny's Child, instead celebrating them en masse as 'Not Beyonce'.   

Ms. Rowland and Ms. Williams, when referred to at all, are most likely to respond with either 'No, I can't introduce you to Beyonce', or 'No, I was never married to Heath Ledger'

Thank you again, all who applied.  Someone please relate to Art Garfunkle that we will be happy to reconsider his application again next year.

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