Sunday, January 12, 2014

Vizsla Flashback - The All Angel Clarification Press Conference

At one point I forgot that this one existed and started re-writing basically the same premise.

Here, from August last, is the original

The All-Angel Clarification Press Conference

In the interest of clearing up some long standing confusion regarding a certain degree of Angel-Overlap, we now present the transcript in full from the recent and well publicized All-Angel Press Conference addressing the issue.

Once again, You're Welcome, Planet.

The participants take the high table and have a seat behind their respective microphones.  An Expectant hush overtakes the reporters in attendance.  Except for Phil who was gassy.

ANGEL:  I'd like to thank you all for joining us today.  We understand that there's been some serious confusion lately in the media as concerns telling us apart and I know I speak for all of us here when I say that we would sincerely like to clear this matter up once and for all.

REPORTER-  If I might ask

ANGEL:  Um.. we weren't really getting to questions yet...

REPORTER:  And yet I'm asking one.

ANGEL: OK, shoot

REPORTER:  As a vampire, do you find that you have a burden to work against common stereotypes that...

ANGEL:  Um... I'm not a Vampire.

REPORTER:  Beg Pardon?

ANGEL:  I'm not actually a Vampire...

ANGEL:  Yes.... That's actually me.  I was also CEO of Wolfram and Hart for a while.

ANGEL:  Right.  So, as I was saying,  we'd all like to...

REPORTER:  Wait...  So the guy who helped Sam and Dean Winchester was a Vampire?

ANGEL:  If you'd just let me..

ANGEL:  See, now this is exactly the sort of...

ANGEL:  You're actually thinking of me...  I'm Castiel, the Angel that assists...

ANGEL:  If we could just get..

ANGEL:  And our Vampire lore is totally different from that hack...

ANGEL:  Please.  Gentlemen.  I think we're veering from the...

ANGEL:  Wait... Vampires are real now?  Is That what all the serial killings are about?

REPORTER:  Wait... Are you...

ANGEL:  Lt. Angel Batista from Showtime's hit series Dexter

ANGEL:  See, now this is EXACTLY the kind of confusion...

ANGEL:  He doesn't even have metaphysical powers!

ANGEL:  Or a TRENCHCOAT!  I mean... that's just ENTRY level...

ANGEL:  If we could just get back to...

 ANGEL:  I resent the implication that only supernatural Angel's deserve to be recognized
ANGEL: Oh for the love of crap.

ANGEL:  I mean, All I asked is that you touch my cheek before you leave me.. baby.

REPORTER:  Wait a minute... Are you the Morning Angel from that Juice Newton song??

ANGEL:  Thank you so much for remembering me

REPORTER:  I totally LOVED that song!

ANGEL:  That is so sweet of you.

After this point the recording of the event descends into confusion. 
We hope that this has helped clear things up. 

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