Happy Stanley Day! Now where is the cake and wine?

It gives me very great pleasure to announce today as the first ever

National Stanley Day!

with the presentation of the brand new furry cousin -

Stanley the Lab (mix)

He's a year old and already 80 pounds, so pity the idiot who breaks into Aunt Kerry's house from this point forward because they'll only find pieces of him.

For the official record, celebration of Stanley Day is marked by Wine, Gnawing on Cow Bones, and frolicking*

*Additional wine may be substituted for cow bones.