Over the course of casual conversation last night I was struck by something.
There is a colossal problem with Gotham City's civil defense system.
Specifically, Commissioner Gordon's ability to call Batman for help being entirely reliant on the Batsignal, which as we all know is a giant searchlight with the shape of a bat in it.
Which is all well and good, assuming that it's always dark out when the Commissioner needs to get a hold of him. Should the Commissioner urgently need to call Batman at - say - quarter after one in the afternoon he is pretty much hosed.
Which I can only assume regularly leads to variations of the following conversation:
Batman: (Swooping in from above heroically) I'm here Commissioner, what do you n... oh Good Lord why is everyone dead?
Commissioner Gordon: The Riddler poisoned the reservoir this afternoon.
Batman: Why didn't you call me? I could have prevented this.
Commissioner Gordon: Because all I have is a FREAKIN SEARCHLIGHT!
Batman: Oh. Um..
Commissioner Gordon: I've been shining it all afternoon.
Batman: Oh. Well... You see... Bats are nocturnal, so..
Commissioner Gordon: They also constantly urinate, I notice your obsession with literalism doesn't extend that far.
Batman: Hey now, that's...
Commissioner Gordon: Seriously, you can have a batarang, but not a SMARTPHONE?
Batman: Yeah, the thing about that...
Commissioner Gordon: Or even a friggen beeper? They've only been around for 30 years!
Batman: Nobody cool carries a beeper anymore.
Commissioner Gordon: I hate you.
Batman: Now that's just hurtful.
And that's just irresponsible crimefighting. That's all I'm saying.