Thursday, May 2, 2013

Some F.A.Q.s about Cryptozoology

As has been mentioned previously, Vizsla = Knowledge.

So when I threw out the term Cryptozoology the other day I suspected that it might require some followup.

So, here are some Cryptozoology F.A.Q.s so that we're all gnawing on the same bone.  (OK, YES, that sounded wrong.  It's a time honored dog expression.  Let's try to behave like adults.)

Q: It's that stuff that gives you intestinal disease and diarrhea, isn't it?

A:  No, you're thinking of Cryptosporidium.  That's a genus of protozoans.  Totally different.

Q: Proto-what-now?

A: Protozoans.  They're a group of unicellular... oh look, would it kill you to do a little of the research on your own?

Q:  I was just asking.  Jeez.

A:  That's not a question at all.  You should totally not have been allowed to have a 'Q' in front of that.  That was a defensive excuse.  It should have begun with a D(e).

D(e):  Bite me.

A:  And that was a command form verb... look, can we just get back on topic please?

D(e):  Fine.  Whatever.

Q:  What is Cryptozoology again?

A:  Why I'm glad you asked!

Q:  That wasn't an answer, you should not have started with an 'A'

A:  Do NOT make me crap on your bed.

D(e): Just sayin'

A:  Ahem.  Cryptozoology is the study of mythological animals, or if you're feeling generous...

I(nterruption): Which you are apparently not.

A: Shut up.

A:  Ahem.  As I was saying.  If you're feeling generous you could define it as the study of animals whose existence has not been proven.

Q:  Like The Abominable Snowman?

A:  An excellent example!  Also known in Tibetan as the 'Yeh-tah', or 'Yeti' as we say it.

Q:  Is that the same thing as Bigfoot?

A:  No, Bigfoot is a North American phenomenon.  Also known as Sasquatch.  Yeti are found (theoretically) in and around Tibet.  One lives in the woods, the other in the snowy mountains.

Q:  So where does the Wendigo fit in?

A:  The Wendigo was just something people made up to explain the disappearance of corpses after they'd resorted to cannibalism so that the kids didn't ask questions.

Q:  ...

A:  What?


A:  Yup.  When Timmy, over a breakfast of freshly grilled Grandpa, asked where Grandpa might have gone during the night and why wasn't he here to share in this unexpected if slightly stringy bounty, all the parents had to say was that the Wendigo had gotten him.

Q:  ...


Q:  That's a little dark for a family blog from a dog, don't you think?

A:  Hey, truth is what it is buddy. 

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