An actual conversation at work this last week.
Me: So I'm going to get a tattoo tonight. I'm all excited.
Cindy: Wow. That's pretty exciting. Exciting and permanent.
Me: Well, only as permanent as I am, I suppose.
Cindy: That's true.
Me: Unless I get made into a lampshade or something.
Cindy: Ooh, or a handbag
Me: Oh, I would be a GREAT handbag. Like... Like, a clutch, you know? Nothing too showy
Cindy: Right, right. Totally. Just something tasteful.
Me: Yeah, exactly! You know, If you just wanted something simple to just hold, like, your ID and some cash. Maybe a credit card.
Cindy: I can totally see you being that clutch.
Me: Nothing flashy or anything. I totally want to be nice enough to go with a dress, but casual enough for everyday.
Cindy: Got it.
Me: Maybe some brass fittings.
Cindy: Oh, that sounds nice!
Me: I know, right? I'm gonna be a classy handbag!
Now I totally can't wait to die.