Monday, August 12, 2013

Seriously? 'Unicorning' is a thing now?

So, today is Helpful Friend Becky's Birthday (she who helped to arrange the Catwoman Brackets - I don't think she can be considered legally culpable for what followed though...)

In the spirit of things I went to send her a picture of terrifying Unicorns, because that's kind of our thing ever since this post on the same topic.  (Caution - Spoiler Alert for Cabin in the Woods there.)

And so, being a thoroughly Modern Vizsla, I began by doing a websearch of the words 'Terrifying Unicorn'

This is what those words found...

That's right.

I cannot even bring myself to show it to you.

And I made you all look at the Bronies picture, so just take a moment with that.

What I saw...


What I...


OK.  Hold on... give me a second here.

It... it was...

<Steeling of Vizsla will...>

It was a person on a stage.  Not sure if it was a man or a woman.

Wearing a tan body stocking

<please... please God let that have been a tan body stocking.. please...  So cold... so cold...>

Supporting themselves in the upward position with crutches.

Wearing the head of a unicorn over their own head

With a sparkly horn.

<so cold.>

I actually had to look at this for several minuted because my brain simply refused to process the set of elements.  I literally could not interpret what I was seeing. 

Now...  I have nothing but respect for people on crutches.  Short term or long term, that ain't easy and they deserve all our respect.

I can even find it in myself to be spiritually all right with flesh-tone body stockings.  If I just squint at it sideways and don't picture anyone I actually know in them.

<Oh Shit, too late... I'm sorry, one of you.  Nothing will ever persuade me to say which of you it was, but I'm sorry.  So, So sorry.>

The wearing a unicorn head thing... I can even find a live-and-let-live place inside myself for that

<Seriously.  I am SO, so sorry...>

Why on Earth would you combine those elements in a performance space?

And then have photos of same easily searchable under the key words 'Terrifying Unicorn'?

I had to show Helpful Friend Becky the picture, since it was sort of her fault that I had to see it and she informed me that there is apparently a 'thing' about wearing Unicorn Heads.  It's called 'unicorning'. 

That's what you do.

You wear a Unicorn Head.

I tried to take the thought further as to what you might do from that point, but then my brain shut down again.

I guess what I'm saying is - When you do a random web search, it's not about judging - but it IS about time to have a sizeable glass of tequila and sit in a cool dark place.

Vizsla out

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