So, today is Helpful Friend Becky's Birthday (she who helped to arrange the Catwoman Brackets - I don't think she can be considered legally culpable for what followed though...)
In the spirit of things I went to send her a picture of terrifying Unicorns, because that's kind of our thing ever since this post on the same topic. (Caution - Spoiler Alert for Cabin in the Woods there.)
And so, being a thoroughly Modern Vizsla, I began by doing a websearch of the words 'Terrifying Unicorn'
This is what those words found...
I cannot even bring myself to show it to you.
And I made you all look at the Bronies picture, so just take a moment with that.
What I saw...
OK. Hold on... give me a second here.
It... it was...
<Steeling of Vizsla will...>
It was a person on a stage. Not sure if it was a man or a woman.
Wearing a tan body stocking
<please... please God let that have been a tan body stocking.. please... So cold... so cold...>
Supporting themselves in the upward position with crutches.
Wearing the head of a unicorn over their own head
With a sparkly horn.
I actually had to look at this for several minuted because my brain simply refused to process the set of elements. I literally could not interpret what I was seeing.
Now... I have nothing but respect for people on crutches. Short term or long term, that ain't easy and they deserve all our respect.
I can even find it in myself to be spiritually all right with flesh-tone body stockings. If I just squint at it sideways and don't picture anyone I actually know in them.
<Oh Shit, too late... I'm sorry, one of you. Nothing will ever persuade me to say which of you it was, but I'm sorry. So, So sorry.>
The wearing a unicorn head thing... I can even find a live-and-let-live place inside myself for that
<Seriously. I am SO, so sorry...>
Why on Earth would you combine those elements in a performance space?
And then have photos of same easily searchable under the key words 'Terrifying Unicorn'?
I had to show Helpful Friend Becky the picture, since it was sort of her fault that I had to see it and she informed me that there is apparently a 'thing' about wearing Unicorn Heads. It's called 'unicorning'.
That's what you do.
You wear a Unicorn Head.
I tried to take the thought further as to what you might do from that point, but then my brain shut down again.
I guess what I'm saying is - When you do a random web search, it's not about judging - but it IS about time to have a sizeable glass of tequila and sit in a cool dark place.