Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Omega Dog

I should clarify - by 'Omega Dog' I'm referring to being as far away from the 'Alpha Dog' as it's possible to get.  If you came here hoping for a discussion of post-apocalypse vampires.... well, I'd advise you to check back on any other day because there's realistically a 50/50 shot that they're going to come up in any given discussion here.  I might also direct you to the post about Iowa from the beginning of August for more of that sort of thing.

But I digress.

We've know each other for a while now, gentle reader, and I feel that the time has come to come clean about something.

My name is Willum,  and I am an Omega Dog.

As you are probably aware, I've lived in me life (not counting the first three months in the Hibbing Animal Shelter - and a big 'Hi' to Big Shirley if she's still there) with a total of Six other dogs.  Seven if you include cousin Britney the Lab who comes and visits a lot.  And I am here to tell you that I have cheerfully let each and every one of them face-hump the crap out of me.*

*All right, enough with the tittering** It's a dog-dominance thing, there's no need to be juvenile about it.

** I said Tittering!  Hee Hee!

 Everybody talks about being an Alpha Dog like it's the best thing ever, but I have to tell you - I've seen that job and I do not want it.  The hours.  The stress.  The constant need to smack down new puppies - and let's face it - every year they just keep getting younger and younger.  You can't keep that shit up forever.  SO much easier to just roll over, show that belly, and hope that somebody happens by to scratch it for you, because that is a thing that is never going to get old my friend.  Not ever.

 It's like an old friend of mine used to say -

Two roads diverged in the wood, and I,
I took the road more travelled by.
And it was SO much more convenient
with places to stop and eat and a few nice hotels.

Powerful truth, friends.  Powerful.

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