Today's Flashback brings us back to early June 2013 - A simpler time when I didn't have the present flu that is making me actively wish for my own death.
I'll keep you posted on how that goes
Vizlsa Flashback - A Very Manly Discussion of Rainbows. In SAT Testing Format
Do not turn over the booklet in front of you until the test administrator tells you to begin.
to fill in your dots completely, Only use a number two pencil. And
wear clean underwear in case you're in a car accident.
Are you sitting comfortably?
Then we'll begin
1: We are discussing Rainbows today because:
A: It's June, they're kind of the thing right now
B: We already discussed Unicorns, Bronies and Leprechauns. It was inevitable.
C: You totally forgot to mention them yesterday and are now getting back to it
D: Someone has a gun to your head and I should probably be helping you
instead of reading this extraordinarily self aware column
The correct answer is - C
fact, the whole pot of gold at the end of the rainbow thing is why I
started writing yesterday's column in the first place. Unfortunately,
the first hobby on the list was 'Drink' and the accompanying picture of
whiskey had a curiously suggestive quality to it. Anyway, one thing led
to another and I'm pretty sure Ann B. Davis and I are married now.
2: Rainbow's come from a unicorn's:
C: Sucking chest wound
D: All of the above
The correct answer is - B
know, All of the above is usually a safe bet. However, as everyone
knows, Unicorns bleed glitter, and there's nothing particular about a
unicorn's breath other than a slight delightful minty freshness. It's
not a particularly original observation, but they do in fact fart
rainbows. You still don't want to muck out the unicorn stalls however.
We think rainbows are pretty because we never get close enough to smell
3: There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow because:
A: Leprechauns suck at hiding things
B: If you actually manage to transcend the laws of physics and reach
the 'end' of a perceptual effect of light refraction you should be able
to treat yourself to a little something
C: While the rainbow
is the symbol of god's promise to not flood us again, the pot of gold is
reparations for the psychological damage inflicted by the last time he
did. He also had to do 80 hours of community service picking up trash
on the side of the highway
D: All of the above
The correct answer is - D
See, the world makes sense again.
True or false - You are driving your 92 year old prim n' proper Aunt
Trudy to a church social when you pass a house with a rainbow flag and
Aunt Trudy is confused and asks what it means. You should explain in
detail what the implications of that flag are vis-a-vis the occupants
The correct answer is - False
this is Aunt Trudy, man. You're not going to change the world by
having an awkward conversation with her about what Joe Prideflag is
into. All the woman wants is to go sit with other 92 year old women and
exchange photos of their great grandchildren. For the sake of all
involved, just tell her he's Irish and move on with your day.