Monday, September 2, 2013

Things we vaguely suspect we might be celebrating today

Please match the correct vague misunderstanding of what today's Holiday (U.S.) 
is about to the most appropriate Title

A.  The Day that we get off our collective asses and actually do a bit of that work around the house that we've been meaning to get around to for simply ever.  Like, how about cleaning out those shelves in the basement like you've been promising to do for freakin' ever?  How about THAT, Nation!  Huh?!

B.  The day that we celebrate the center-left political party of Great Britain, originally organized as a vehicle for the trade unions to have a voice in government and last in a position of primary power in 2010 under Gordon Brown.  Not that we know that because that would involve taking an interest in somebody else's country that can't even be bothered to have oil deposits, and 'Murica!

C.  The day that we celebrate taking a large number of chemicals meant to foster the collective dilation of our National Cervix.  Reported to be a more painful holiday than Natural Labor Day

D.  The Day that the United States celebrates the contributions of the common worker to the State of the US as a whole.  (Making it far closer to an embracing of socialism than anything in the Affordable Care Act (Also know as Obamacare.)  Not that anyone in the Tea Party would know that, as that would require them to accurately understand the actual definition of Socialism, What the Affordable Care Act says, or what 'workers' are.

E.  The day a few weeks before we intended to celebrate having an epidural and riding the pain out but HOLY CRAP our National Water just broke and we don't even have the freakin' nursery painted yet!  CRAP!

F:  The day that we as a Nation celebrate spending 72 hours picking up trash along the side of the National Highway and thinking about how important it is to remember to get around to paying our G*dd*mn Parking Tickets.

G:  The Holiday that's actually at the beginning of the Summer sometime in May but who we claim to be celebrating the First Monday of September roughly 50% of the time because we can never keep straight which one is which.  Which is ironic for a Holiday that's actually named for remembering things.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

1____ Premature Labor Day

2____ Induced Labor Day

3____ Manual Labor Day

4____ Labour Day

5____ Forced Labor Day

6____ Memorial Day

7____ Labor Day (U.S.)

Please submit your results to or in the comments section below for scoring.

Thank you for your participation.

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