As long term readers are probably aware (and 'hi' to both of you, again) I'm officially beginning what might be the most poorly thought out plan in my life. And again, for those who've known me for a while you'll be aware of the enormity of that statement.
To recap, a couple weeks ago I got my weekly email workout tip from the gym that I belong to but almost never get to. (Although to be fair, 694 has been completely impassable for months now so the State of Minnesota Highway Department should probably shoulder some of the blame on this issue.) It advised - as a method of getting ready pre-holiday season - to challenge yourself to go 30 days working out 5 times a week and taking in as few as possible of carbs and sugar.
Watch the gut just melt away, they said.
Well, nearing the end of Day 1 of this thing, here are my 10 uppermost immediate responses.
1: You know what has sugar and carbs in it? Everything. Sorry, I should be more specific. Everything that makes life worth living.
2: I had a whole thing planned today to discuss how SteamPunk has arguably become too popular and how I would like it to go back to being a pleasant little niche interest. But to be honest, I am far too busy hallucinating about Toast to care about that right now. We'll circle back to the idea later on.
3: What's great about drinking your coffee black? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing.
4: It turns out that one thing that has a lot of sugar and empty calories in it is in point of fact alcohol. See Item #1.
5: At what point did I not realize that FREAKIN' HALLOWEEN is smack dab in the middle of my 30 days without sugar?
6: Lots of Thai food is perfectly fine for a low sugar/low carbs diet. The big bowl of rice that accompanies your curry with chicken and coconut milk... not on that list.
7: Seriously. Halloween.
8: I did build into the plan a subclause that I am referring to as 'The Omaha Exemption' based on a likely trip there around November 9th. What happens in Omaha stays in Omaha.
9: Even as we speak I am eating tuna fish directly out of the can with a fork. This is how close we are to reverting to animals, people. By day 10 I fully expecting to be lurking in a cave, hunched over a lemon pepper chicken breast to which I will only refer as 'My Precious...'
10: I've probably already saved 3 bucks in Soda Expenses. Once you factor in the scotch budget for the 30 days you almost start to come up with a compelling case for the experiment. Almost.
That's all for now. If you'll excuse me I'm off to the basement to search the deep freeze for frozen vegetables.