This morning I was giving a talk to a bunch of first graders as part of National Fire Prevention Week.
Because part of my personal remit always has and always will be to throw a few jokes in solely to please myself, during the portion of the program where we were demonstrating the PPE (That's Personal Protective Equipment to those not in the know) I mentioned that just having an SCBA on your back (that's Self Contained Breathing Apparatus ttnink) would not help you breathe unless you were some sort of Narwhal.
The Narwhal is, of course, a medium sized toothed whale that lives in the arctic. It's notable for the fact that two of its top teeth actually grow out of the top of its head and intertwine to form a horn. Much like if a beluga whale and a unicorn had fallen in love and made a beautiful child. (This may or may not be the origin of the Narwhal. I would have to cut one and see if it bleeds glitter to be sure.)
Since I made the throwaway comment, it occurs to me how useful a narwhal would actually be in firefighting. First off they could hook their SCBA tank directly up to their blowhole, sure. But that horn and it's commiserate ramming power would be useful as hell in a structural fire
Of course, they probably would be limited by the whole 'having to be immersed in water' thing, but it's not as if there aren't plenty of substances that can burn underwater.
Get on this, Arctic Fire Brigade!
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