First off, I apologize for that title. Apparently one side effect of the constant intake of cough syrup is a significant lowering of my pun-threshold.
As you might have picked up on in the previous sentence, for the last three weeks I've been going through more than a drop or two of cough syrup as one or both of my lungs attempts to systematically flee my body through my esophagus.
Over that time I flatter myself that I've become something of an authority on cough syrup. And should there ever be an episode of Bones that requires an expert witness in that field I look forward to being called, as I have a tenuous grasp on the differentiation between Television and Reality.
I began the journey using a brand that I won't mention by name in order to not get sued, which was advertised as having the flavor of 'honey', but could be more accurately described as the flavor of 'rancid ass'. I suppose the quality time gagging and attempting to not vomit did successfully distract me from coughing.
From there I went to a brand that I'm going to go ahead and call Robitussin, as I don't plan on saying anything libelous about them. Nice cherry flavor. A bit on the viscous side, but that's what one gets when one drinks cough syrup. My only real complaint is that the bottle was a bit smaller than the Bottle o' Butthole and yet was slightly more expensive.
I was however gratified that I could still get it off the shelf by myself and didn't have to go to the pharmacy with an ID and a sperm sample to purchase some. (I'm looking at YOU, Claritin...)
After that I thought I'd save a bit of money and get the in-store generic off-brand equivalent of Robitussin, because I am occasionally cheap. Unfortunately, due to the convention of changing the first syllable of the brand name product to the in store brand name meant that I ended up buying a bottle of 'up-tussin', which is exactly what I stopped taking the first syrup to avoid.