Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I don't think we can legitimately blame Mark Harmon for this...

Years ago I came across the interesting (and possibly untrue) bit on information that apparently Harrison Ford is a trained helicopter pilot and occasionally donates his services in rescue missions for local government agencies.

Now, I have absolutely no idea if this is true, but I'm going to proceed in the belief that it is, because it is my firm policy that when faced with two possibilities one should always believe the more amusing option.

So let's picture, if we will - We're a hiker.  Possibly a lonely middle aged housewife who's desperately latched onto some light hiking in the foothills to try to fill the void where love should be.  Suddenly we realize - there's a fire spreading rapidly all around us!  Our way back is blocked in a fiery inferno!  In desperation we make for the foothills, but no luck!  They're blocked too, probably by bobcats!  With Harpoon Guns!  And those bobcats are totally looking for payback because they live in what's called an 'ecotone' and resent the encroachment.  (look it up later, it's not important right now.)

We're trapped!  All seems lost!

And then Han Freaking Solo descends from the sky in a helicopter to save us.  Probably shouting 'All Right Kid!  Now Blow this thing so we can all go home!' because I'm pretty sure that local government officials would insist on that.


I don't know about you, but I'd pretty much assume that I'd died.  And gone to either Heaven or Hell (depending on your views toward religion and Star Wars)

In either case, it's a reasonable bet that I'm going to still be standing there staring blankly at him trying to process the situation long after my charred and harpoon impaled body is located by the forest rangers.

Which brings me to Mark Harmon

A little backstory on how the Vizsla blogs.  About an hour ago I googled Mark Harmon because his name came to mind and I thought he might make a vaguely amusing topic to discuss.  I think I had some half formed idea concerning the film Summer School.

But that's not important anymore because I discovered a few things in my google (can I make a noun out of that?)

1:  He's apparently on NCIS, which I was unaware of and still don't really care about

2:  He's married to Pam Dawber (who I was mildly surprised to learn was still alive.  And yet has she written anything tender about the passing of Jonathan Winters?  Must check on that...)

3 Apparently in 1996 a couple guys were in a car wreck in front of his house.  He grabbed a sledgehammer, broke out the window and dragged them from the burning vehicle.  I'm assuming they went into slo-motion just as the car exploded.  Pam called 911 while he did so.

OK.... let's take that one again... from the drivers perspective...

You and your buddy are driving around.  Probably on your way to buy pot, or read to orphans or whatever, that part isn't important.

Suddenly, A raccoon darts in front of the car!  or possibly you're drunk, imdb didn't really say.  Your car flips over!  The dripping fuel ignites!  You and your buddy are moments away from a fiery end!

When suddenly the guy from St. Elsewhere is smashing out your windows with some sort of weapon of death!  In panic you flail around, only to see Mindy on the front porch!  She's making some kind of urgent phonecall.  Why isn't she with Mork?  Is she calling Mork?  OH MY GOD, IS SHE CHEATING ON MORK???  St. Elsewhere guy pulls you and your friend to safety.  The car explodes as the music crescendos... why are you suddenly in slo-mo?  And then...

It's over.

You're in the ambulance with only the vaguest idea of what just happened.

It's amazing they didn't sue, because I bet Mark and Pam are totally loaded and it WAS on their property.  Sort of.

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